Dark Sunshine
by Kathryn Randle
Summary: My story is about Kathryn Randle! She used to be a happy-go-lucky kid until something happened to her that forces her to move to Oklahoma with her cousin Steve. *CHAPTER EIGHTTEEN IS FINALLY, THAT'S RIGHT, FINALLY POSTED! PLEASE R&R!!*
1. Arriving

Hey Everyone! This is my first Outsiders fic! I haven't written for about 6 months so I'd really appreciate it if you review my work and tell me what you think!  
  
  
  
Dark Sunshine  
  
  
  
As I sat quietly in my seat on the train, out of all the hundreds of things I could be thinking about, my mind was blank. I watched as the raindrops on my window slowly slid down the glass until they reached the bottom of the sill where they all met. I found it strange that in the past few months so many changes had occurred in my life and yet I still had time to notice the little things that no normal person ever even considered. My father always told me that I was special like that. My father. What was I thinking? I didn't have a father. Maybe I did once but I didn't know. It was his fault I was on this train. It was his fault I had to move to Oklahoma. I liked it in Kansas; all my friends were there. You know how it is leaving someone behind. I had to leave everything behind. I'd been to Tulsa a few times before. My cousin, Steve Randle lives there. I had had fun while I stayed with him, but that was a long time ago almost three years since I'd last seen him. I thought of how much I changed over those three years. I used to be so happy-go-lucky, now I was cold and bitter. I hadn't wanted it to be that way. I missed my carefree days I spent with my father. There I go again.  
  
Before I could get into blaming all my life's problems on him, the train suddenly stopped. I was really here. There was no going back now.  
  
"Welcome to Tulsa," the lady at the front of the train said.  
  
I forget what they're called. It didn't really matter. I had bigger problems to worry about.  
  
"Please wait until the train has come to a complete stop before you unfasten your seatbelt. Have a nice day."  
  
They always sound so fake when they say things like that. As if it were a ride at some amusement park or something. I think they could care less if you had a nice day or not.  
  
I checked myself over. I flattened out the wrinkles on my plaid skirt, which had formed from the long ride. I looked pretty decent. People had always said I was pretty but I didn't know what the all the fuss was about. I had long dark brown hair which I parted at the side and held back with a clip my mother had given me. It curled at the bottom just past my shoulder. I had always been tall for my age and I was pretty slim. My skin was a pale ivory and I hated it. All the girls I thought were beautiful were girls that had tanned faces. But I didn't get to upset over it. The thing people complimented me on most e were my eyes. They were pale blue. People said they had depth, feeling. Someone could tell my mood simply by looking at them. Eyes once filled with such joy and happiness were now filled with hate and sorrow.  
  
I decided I looked as good as I could get after being on a train for four hours. I didn't know who I had to impress anyway, they were my family. They weren't going to judge me. I guess I thought that if I looked nice and presentable it wouldn't let on at how much I really was hurting. I never wanted other people to know my emotions. So I kept them well hidden. I didn't really have to keep anything to big hidden up until now anyway.  
  
I gathered my things that I had brought on my train with me. It was just an old photo album I'd had since I was seven years old, my backpack which I kept all my personal things in, and an old copy of To Kill A Mockingbird I'd gotten from my grandfather. I opened the front cover, running my fingers over the note he'd written, it read:  
  
My Sweet Katty-  
  
Never forget how much I love you. You're my little angel. I still remember the day you were born and you gripped my thumb in your tiny hand and I knew I would do everything in my power to keep you safe from harm and pain. Happy Birthday Sweetheart.  
  
Love Always,  
  
Grampy  
  
-1964  
  
I remembered that day so well. I loved my grandpa as much as my own parents. Maybe even more. 1964. I read it over. He had died the winter of that year. Just like all the important people in my life he left me too. He couldn't keep me safe from harm and pain like he said he always would.  
  
I took a deep breath and prepared for my new life in Tulsa.  
  
I stepped of the train and the sunlight stung my eyes. It had been dark in my cabin and my eyes still hadn't adjusted to the light. I looked around people were running to each other and hugging, kissing, crying. It was a nice scene to see. It felt a little like home. Who knows maybe this place won't be so bad. But nothing will ever compare to Kansas Then I saw a boy running toward me followed by two others. It was Steve.  
  
He looked basically the same but older. Well it'd been three years of course he was older. He was the same as I remembered him, tall and lean, with thick greasy hair he kept combed in complicated swirls. He was wearing a pale blue shirt with it's sleeves missing which said DX embroidered on it. His jeans were stained with car oil and gas. He had a huge grin on his face. I guess he was more excited than I was that I had come to live here. I guess that's because he always considered me as his little sister. He protected me in a way.  
  
"Kathryn Randle!" he screamed while picking me up and spinning me around twice before putting me back on the ground.  
  
"Hey Stevie! Still working at the gas station I presume." I said wiping the oil off his cheek. I was trying to sound cheerful but I wasn't succeeding very well. Chances were Steve would be too excited to notice.  
  
He just smiled and said, "Yep still stuck at the ol' DX. Pumping gas, fixing cars, you know the usual. Wow, look at you Kate. You look…different."  
  
"Different?" I said in an offended voice. Although I knew what he was talking about. I had grown-up a lot in the past three years. I used to be a tough kid. Playing with boys, getting dirty, wearing old ripped clothes. But after mom left I had to become the lady of the house, so I decided to actually try and act like a lady.  
  
"You know what I mean. You look nice. You look a lot older. How old are you now thirteen? Fourteen?" Steve asked knowing the answer.  
  
"Stevie Randle, you know very well that I'm sixteen. A year younger than you." I said pretending to be annoyed  
  
I couldn't help noticing his two buddies behind him. They both looked so familiar.  
  
The shorter one looked about 15. He had light-brown, almost red hair that was longer then most of the Kansas boys I was used to wore it. It was squared of in the back and longer in the front and sides. He didn't have nearly as much grease in it than Steve did. His eyes were strong but innocent. They were greenish-gray but more on the green side. He stood there with a cigarette in his hand, taking drags every so often. I didn't really mind when boys smoked as long as it was out side. He was wearing a sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off and he seemed cold since it was still sprinkling out. He seemed pretty good-looking but the boy beside him was one of the handsomest people I'd ever seen.  
  
He had a movie-star kind of handsome quality about him. His face was so finely drawn, so sensitive, yet somehow he seemed reckless and thoughtful at the same time. He had dark hair that was combed back, long, silky and straight. His eyes were dark brown-so full of life, that seem gentle and sweet. His smile made you feel warm inside and made you want to smile. He was wearing a similar shirt as Steve's only the arms were still attached and it was clean. He didn't have oil and gas on his clothes like Steve. He wasn't a muscular as the other boys but all of them seemed to have tough builds.  
  
I think Steve noticed I was looking at him since he said, "I see you remember these to bums."  
  
"Yeah, I think so." I lied. I didn't want them to feel uncomfortable by saying I'd forgotten.  
  
"They're brother Darry couldn't come with us. He had to work. My and Soda here had to twist the old bosses arm to let us come." Steve said punching the good-looking one in the ribs affectionately.  
  
Then it hit me Soda, Darry, they were the Curtis brothers. The smaller one was Ponyboy. Soda and Pony had been especially nice to me when I'd been here last. They'd invite me wherever they were going. Once Soda asked me to see a movie just me and him but Steve wouldn't let him. I hadn't really known why. Soda was a nice decent guy and I was leaving the next day. But that was back when I had been thirteen. I was a different kind of person when I was younger.  
  
"So how was it riding on a train alone?" Ponyboy asked. Steve smacked him on the head right after. "What?" Ponyboy said innocently. I couldn't help but smile.  
  
"It was different." I answered solemnly. I guess he didn't know about my parents. That was all right it was as simple mistake. I think I was a little relieved he didn't know. I didn't like people to think of my parents like that. That wasn't how they were. I wanted people to remember how happy and cheerful they used to be. That was a good way to remember him. I remembered them as the people who left me. Why did they have to leave? No. I stopped myself I wasn't going to think about this. Not now. Steve had left to get my bags so I pretended to be reading my book.  
  
"I wished I'd dressed up a little more." I heard Pony whisper to Soda. "She looks like a regular Soc and I look like a world class greaser."  
  
"Don't worry about it Pony." Soda said reassuringly, "She's nothing like a Soc. She's a sweetheart from what I remember. She won't care that we're greasers."  
  
"But what about when she starts school, if the kids find out she lives with Steve and is friends with us. They'll make her life a living hell. We're strong; we can handle it but what if she can't. I don't want her to get hurt." Ponyboy sounded really worried. I didn't understand what the fuss was about.  
  
"Neither do, I but Socs like Cherry and Marcia might like her. She's a real doll." Soda said smiling.  
  
"Yeah I hope so." Pony said throwing away his cigarette. "What are you reading there?"  
  
It took me a few seconds to realize he was talking to me and not Soda. I looked up into his green eyes, " 'To Kill a Mockingbird', you read it?" I asked.  
  
"No I've always wanted to though, is it good?" he asked.  
  
"One of my favourites. I first read it in school and I liked it so much my grandfather-," I felt a sadness whenever I spoke about him, "he bought it for me on my 14th birthday."  
  
Pony just smiled and nodded. Steve had come back with my things. I had five suitcases. It was amazing how he could manage. I had to make three trips to get them from my house to the taxi.  
  
"What do you have in here, bricks?" Steve asked sarcastically. "Hey Soda, the sky's getting dark we'd better hurry if we want to make it on time."  
  
"Where are you going?" I asked in spite of myself. Gosh, Soda really was good-looking.  
  
"Soda and me are going to go see a movie with Two-Bit." Steve said as he dropped all of my bags on the ground.  
  
"Oh. I see." I said. I really didn't want to be away from Steve. He made me feel welcome. If I wasn't with him, I'd have to go to Uncle Jerry and Aunt Susie. Uncle Jerry always scared me a little since he had a wild temper. Once Steve came home late from being out with his buddies, and Jerry was screaming and cussing like mad. He had been a little drunk so he hadn't quite realized what he'd been doing. But Steve kept defending himself and Jerry got so frustrated he started to hit him. When Steve finally got away he ran out the door and didn't come back until the next morning. Steve had told me that sometimes he hates his father. Like I hate mine.  
  
"You remember Two-Bit don't you Kate?" Steve asked.  
  
Two-Bit. I thought about it for a second. Then it came to me he was the wise-cracker of Steve's friends. I remember him being about 6 feet tall, Stocky in build and his rusty coloured side-burns he was so proud of. His eyes were gray and he had a wide grin, and couldn't stop making humorous remarks. He could always make me smile just by saying a few words. It might take a little more than that now.  
  
"Yeah," I said finally, "I think I remember him."  
  
I know this is a bad place to end but i have dreaded writers block so if you think it's any good tell me and if you have and suggestions i'd love to hear them!  
  
Thank You  
  
-C.E.Heximer 


	2. Changes

Hey guys! All the characters belong to S.E. Hinton except Kathryn. This chapter, in my opinion, isn't as good as the last. There isn't as much mood and atmosphere as there was in the last one. But if you guys like the way this one is written better, just tell me and I'll write like this more often. Enjoy! Please review!  
  
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
  
  
I wished Steve would've stay with me instead of going to see a movie, since this was my first night in a new place but I didn't mention it to him. I knew if I had he wouldn't have gone to the movies but he seemed to be looking forward to it for some reason. There was probably some good- looking girl waiting for him there, or he just really wanted to see the movie.  
  
It was a long ride from the train station to my new home. I didn't talk very much during the ride. Although Ponyboy wasn't going to let be stay quiet. He was trying to be friendly by asking me questions about what it was like in Kansas and what sort of things we liked to do. I felt a little rude when I would answer him so bluntly, it's just that I didn't feel like talking, but he didn't seem to mind. For some reason, he seemed strangely interested when I told him about the times I had gone horseback riding on my friends farm and all the barrel races I had entered and won. I hadn't been in a barrel race for a year and a half, I bet if I were to enter one now I would come dead last.  
  
When Steve told me we had arrived, I almost thought he was joking since his house looked nothing like it used to. The once nice white wood paneling now had water stains and was all broken. The green grass in the front yard I once remembered playing in, was now dead and brown and seemed to have rough prickly texture to it. The shutters were practically gone and the windows seemed like they hadn't been washed in years. But what got me the most was what I heard inside the house. Screaming, cussing, things breaking, I didn't understand. I knew Uncle Jerry had a temper but I never imagined this. Steve must've noticed that I was nervous.  
  
"Well here we are, I know it ain't much but it's home." He said smiling sweetly as if he couldn't hear what was going on inside the house.  
  
  
  
Pony and Soda took the rest of the bags Steve couldn't carry out of the trunk and set them on the sidewalk. They didn't come up to the house with us. I knew this meant that Steve really was just going to leave me there. I felt like an abandoned dog who was afraid of everything since it was in a new place. We walked up the broken down wooden steps. I was careful not to step to hardly with fear they would break from under me. As we opened the front door it creaked and almost instantly the fighting stopped. The angry faces changed to warm happy smiles and the screams turned into cheerful welcomes. I didn't understand. Had they always been like this? Was I was to young to notice that whenever I was around everything was always peaceful but as soon as I left hell broke loose? My thoughts were interrupted when Aunt Susie came over to me and took my bags from my hands.  
  
"You can stay in Steve's room until your room is finished." She said with a grin on her face, "I am so happy you're here, Kathryn." She added.  
  
There was something different about Uncle Jerry. He hadn't said anything since I got there. He hadn't even looked up or given me any recognition what so ever. There was something strange about this. He wasn't usually so cold and hard. He had always been as happy to see me as everyone else. I didn't want to think about that then.  
  
"Mom, I am going to the movies with Soda and Pony, I'll be home around 12:00." Steve told his mother.  
  
It was 6:00 now, what movie could last for 6 hours. It was obvious that he must be doing something else afterward.  
  
"Where else are you going?" Aunt Susie asked, thinking exactly what I had.  
  
"I might go up to the Dingo for a few hours. You know, hang out, play some pool, the usual." He replied coolly.  
  
"You know I don't like you going there." Uncle Jerry said. This was the first thing he'd said since I'd been there. "I bet your going to meet those brothers, the ah…Curtis boys. I don't like you hanging around with them, there a bad influence. No discipline. Just because there folks are dead doesn't mean they can run around town looking for trouble."  
  
"Come now Jerry.." Aunt Susie said meekly.  
  
I looked over at Steve. He was getting mad. I'd only seen him like this that one time he ran out.  
  
"You just shut it, Susan. I'm tired of you sticking up for him. He's my son as well as yours and if I don't want him going out with those, those, hoods, then he damn well won't." screamed Uncle Jerry.  
  
"Don't talk to her like that." Steve hollered back. There was a silence that seemed like it lasted eternity but only lasted about ten seconds. "I'm sorry Pop I didn't mean to yell." Steve said surprisingly calm. "Don't worry about me, I won't get into any trouble. Soda and Pony are good kids. Don't worry."  
  
"Ok, son. Don't be out to late." He replied simply.  
  
And with that Steve was out the door.  
  
"Come dear," Aunt Susie said. "I'll show you were you'll be staying.  
  
  
  
We walked down the hall passing about three doors. Aunt Susie was pointing out where the bathroom was and what the other rooms were but I wasn't really paying attention. I wanted to see where I'd be sleeping and stay there until Steve came back. We came to a door at the end of the hall and she told me that this was it. She apologized in her gentle voice for the mess and left my alone.  
  
The room wasn't as friendly or livable as I'd hoped, but it'd do. I wouldn't be staying in it long anyway. Like Aunt Susie said, soon I'd have my own room. The comforter was plain blue and the bed hadn't been made properly. There were dirty clothes and half smoked butts all over the floor and the carpet was horribly stained with what looked like alcohol and cigarette burns. The walls weren't painted and there were a few posters of Mustangs and Corvettes on it. There was also a strange scent to it. A mix of cigarette smoke and motor oil. You could plainly tell it was a boy's room.  
  
To pass time I decided to clean it up a bit. Even when I had finished it still looked revolting but I had done the best I could do. I looked at the small clock in on the corner of his dresser. It read 8:07. What had seemed like five hours had really only been two. His movie had probably ended. It'd still be a while before Steve got home so I took out my book and began reading it for the 7th time. Just when I was about to get to my favourite part I heard the sound of angry voices. I tiptoed quietly over to the door and opened it a crack so I could hear better. I wished I hadn't. What I heard changed my life in Oklahoma forever.  
  
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Hey guys! Sorry I took so long posting it. I was all ready to and then it got deleted and I had to write it all over again. The original one was longer had more detail and better written so if this chapter seems to have a less writing quality about it that's why. I know it's short but bear with me! Thnx! Please review and tell me what you think! I love suggestions! 


	3. Estranged

Hey Guys! I wrote this chapter kind of quickly so it might not be all that great! It's a little short but it's pretty good I think. It was really hard to start this chapter since I wanted to lead up to what they had to say not just start it with it! This was the best I could do so please don't stop reading just because the beginning is bad. Thank You! Oh I also need suggestions on what to title this chapter. I sort of wanted to name them all with one word but I don't know what word would be appropriate.  
  
  
  
Chapter Three  
  
Now that the door was open, I could tell that the angry voices were those of my aunt and uncle. They had sounded the way they did when Steve asked to go to the...Dingo I think it was. They were cruel and hurtful. I had hated it when my parent had fought when I was a little girl and to hear this made those awful feelings return. These people were supposed to love each other not almost hate one another. Why were they saying such harsh words? Then, they stopped. My heart almost stopped in fear that they had discover I had been eavesdropping but my fears vanished when I heard my aunts understanding voice.  
  
"Now Jerry," she started. "She's only a child. Of course we had to take her in. Do you want to see her living on the streets? You don't know what that life can do to a person; and an innocent young girl like Kathryn. She wouldn't last a week out there. Is that really what you want? To see our niece homeless?"  
  
When she spoke her word cracked as if she had been crying. I knew they were talking about me but I couldn't understand why. It was obvious that they didn't want me living with them but what had I done to make them so angry.  
  
"Of course that's not what I want. I just don't understand why she couldn't live with her mothers' sister Evelyn, up in Vermont. At least maybe she could be of some use around there. They could probably afford her as well." He said.  
  
There was something about Uncle Jerry's voice that made me think that lack of money really wasn't the only reason he wanted me to leave.  
  
"It only another mouth to feed. Come on now. We're family." My aunt said defending me, "Last time I checked families are supposed to stick together. Even if times are rough."  
  
Now I had opened my door all the way and I could see directly into the living room. Uncle Jerry had been sitting in his armchair and on the table beside him I saw three empty beer bottles and one knocked over on the floor. I hated seeing him like this. But what got me the most was the expression on his face is what got me the most. It was the same way my father had looked after he changed. To think that this was now happening to his brother was almost nauseating.  
  
"Don't get smart with me Susan. Who works for living in this house, Huh? Who do you think would know better if she were just another mouth to feed? I don't want that girl living under my roof, and as long as you live here, you're going to do what I say." He shouted.  
  
What happened next surprised me as much as it did my uncle.  
  
"No Jerry." Aunt Susie said firmly.  
  
"What? What did you say to me?" he said surprised.  
  
"I'm not just going to sit around and watch you hurt our family. What's happened to you Jerry? You used to be such a loving and caring father and husband. Now you're always angry and yelling. If your going to stay that way well then I'm taking this family and leaving." Aunt Susie meant what she said. I believed her. She'd do it.  
  
"Now you listen to me." Uncle Jerry said grabbing his wife's arm in an angry rage. You could here his voice boom through the entire house.  
  
"I won't let you leave. You couldn't handle it out there by yourself. You'd die. Maybe I should let you leave. It might make the world a better place."  
  
"Stop, Jerry you're hurting me. Let go! You're drunk," She screamed.  
  
I couldn't take it any longer. I ran into the living room threatening my uncle to let go or he'd be sorry. I didn't exactly know what he'd be sorry for. It was all so overwhelming. I was usually a rational person but right then I swear I could've killed him.  
  
"You let her go!" I screamed. I could feel my heart beating widely in my chest.  
  
"Or what," he said with a drunken smirk on his face. "You'll drive me to my death just like you did your old man."  
  
There was a dead silence. I hated him. He was exactly like my father. I truly hated him. He thought it was my fault. I could feel the hot tears of rage swelling up in my eyes.  
  
"Kat, I'm sorry." He pleaded softly, "I didn't mean it." He began walking over to me. I couldn't stay here any longer. I had to get out of this place.  
  
"You stay away from me!" I screamed. "Just stay away!"  
  
I headed for the door and ran as fast as I could down the empty streets. I wanted to be as far away from that man as possible. I'll never go back, I told myself, never. I ran as far as I could and ended up in a small park. I couldn't grasp the concept of all that had happened in the past hour. Where was I supposed to go now? I was all alone in a new place and the only people I knew I couldn't live with. I was tired of thinking about it. I collapsed under a large oak tree and passed out from utter exhaustion.  
  
When I woke up I forgot where I was, but only for a second. Then all the unpleasant memories came flowing back. Uncle Jerry. He wasn't my uncle. Uncles don't make you feel this way. They don't accuse you of things you didn't do, things you couldn't stop. Maybe I had been able to stop it. No, you aren't going to let that bastard get to you. There was nothing you could do. It wasn't your fault you hadn't done anything wrong. I am only a child. I shouldn't have to deal with this. It wouldn't have even happened if Steve hadn't gone to the movies. That's what I'd do. I'd go to the Dingo and find Steve Soda and Two-Bit. They'd be able to make me feel better. This was a wonderful way to spend my first day in Tulsa.  
  
Just when I thought nothing could even happen to make this night worse, a blue Mustang drove up to prove me wrong.  
  
  
  
Well that's it! I know it's a little short but I had to end there. I think everyone knows what's going to happen but I'd still like suggestions on what you thought! Please Review! I love reading them! Also thanks to all the people who have reiewed! 


	4. Guilty

Ok, just to clear everything up! This story does take place after Johnny and Dally are dead! I'm sorry to all the people who love them! They're great but if they were alive I'd have to change the original story and I don't want that. Also, Kathryn is sort of in the book because in chapter 2 after Pony tells Cherry and Marcia that Dally'd leave them alone if he knew them it says when Steve's cousin from Kansas came down, Dally was decent to her and watched his swearing! So that's where I got the idea of Kathryn! Anyway enjoy this chapter and thanks for all your reviews and to AshleyMathews for her chapter name suggestion.  
  
Also, this chapter is kind of slow but chapter 5 will be better I think! Something good will happen!  
  
Chapter Four  
  
As I lay there, tired and trembling from both the cold and fear, I could vaguely hear footsteps and drunken laughs coming toward me from a distance. I didn't think much of it and stayed where I was. I wasn't about to get up in my state simply from paranoia. They probably wouldn't even notice me, but just as I had been this entire night my judgment was off, horribly off.  
  
"Hey doll face," Someone said. His speech was a little slurred so I knew he'd been drinking. I looked up. There were three boys standing over me, one in a yellow Madras shirt, the other in blue plaid shirt and the tall one in a sports jacket. "What are you doing on the ground, you'll ruin that pretty dress."  
  
I was getting a little scared since I wasn't even wearing a dress, but I suppose to a boy who had been drinking my skirt couldn't looked like a dress. I didn't understand what was even happening. These boys weren't even older then eighteen. Why were they drinking? I hated when people drank at a young age. It was practically labeling them as juvenile delinquents that wouldn't amount to be anything but alcoholics like my father. I didn't want that fate for anyone.  
  
"Why don't you get up off the ground and come for a ride with us," The one in the blue shirt piped in, "It'll be fun."  
  
I wasn't about to get into a car with these people I didn't even know that were obviously intoxicated, but what was I supposed to say. Finally I came up with something.  
  
"No thank you." I said bluntly. I know it wasn't the best answer but I didn't know what kind of people these were and I didn't want to say anything to anger them.  
  
"But what do you want to stay over here on this side of town for." The one in the yellow madras said again, "We'll take you away from this crummy neighborhood into the place where you belong."  
  
What were the talking about, where I belong, How did they know where I belonged, they didn't know me.  
  
"I belong here." I told them.  
  
"Come on guys," the tall one said. "Leave her alone and let's get outta here."  
  
"You just shut your mouth Randy Adderson," the one in the yellow yelled. "I'm sick and tired of you always ruining our fun." Then he turned to me and squatted down to my level. "Now come on darlin'," he said touching my face. He smelt of stale tobacco and English leather shaving lotion and of course alcohol. Tequila I think it was. "Don't you wanna take a ride with me. I'll make it a night you'll never forget."  
  
I couldn't handle it. I screamed as loud as I could for anyone. Steve. Soda. Two-Bit. Even Uncle Jerry. Anybody.  
  
"Shut this broad up would ya!" he yelled to his buddies.  
  
He had his hand pressed over my mouth so I did the only thing I could do. I bit his hand and taste the blood running into my mouth. This caused him to instinctively grab his hand in pain, freeing my so I was able to scream for help yet again. Just when I thought it was hopeless I heard voices. Familiar voices.  
  
"Hey pal," one said, "Leave her alone ya hear."  
  
The voice belonged to Steve. He must've heard me when he was walking to the Dingo.  
  
"Or what!" one of them said.  
  
"You don't wanna know pal." I couldn't recognize his voice but I assumed he was on my side.  
  
"If you're looking for a fight…" one of them said being interrupted by Soda.  
  
"Listen buddy, just let her go. She didn't do nothing. I don't want to start anything with you guys."  
  
I didn't like this. I saw the one in the blue shirt pull out a blade. Why were they doing this? Why did those boys have to even start hassling me? I started to think what would happen if he used that blade and started crying against my will. Me crying wasn't helping my situation because I just exhausted myself even more and I was all ready so overwhelmed that I just passed out cold.  
  
I felt something moist on my face and neck, and someone slapping my face lightly.  
  
"I think she's coming around." I heard someone yell. I wished he hadn't I already had a throbbing headache. I opened my eyes and saw an unfamiliar face. I instantly backed away and almost sat on another person. I could feel myself moving as if I was in a car. Oh know. Steve and his friends couldn't save me and I was in a car with those other boys.  
  
"Hey, Hey," someone said, putting his strong arms around me. "It's ok your safe now." I looked up into dark brown eyes that were gentle and friendly. It was Soda. I was all right. I was safe.  
  
"You gave us quite a scare there," said the boy holding the damp cloth. He looked horrible. His face was all busted in and his lip was bleeding. Oh no, they did fight those boys. It was all my fault.  
  
"Steve." I managed to say quietly. I looked around frantically trying to find my cousin. If anything happened to him it'd be all my fault.  
  
"It's ok Katty, I'm here, I'm here." Said the voice in the front. Then it became clear. He was driving. I passed out and Soda and the other boy had stayed in the back with me to make sure I was ok.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry." I said with my voice cracking.  
  
"Hey, shh, it's ok!" Soda said tightening his grip on me.  
  
"Why did you leave anyway, Kat?" Steve asked me.  
  
I thought for a second. Why had I left? Then I remembered.  
  
"Oh Steve it was awful." I started, "Uncle Jerry and your Mom were fighting and then it got out of control and he grabbed her and was about to hit her so I told him to stop and then he said awful things to me and I couldn't stay there and I ran trying to find you and then those awful boys came and…" I was talking so quickly I was surprised if he heard any of it.  
  
"I can't believe that bastard." Steve said surprisingly. "It's a wonder Mom doesn't leave him. Hey Soda, is it ok if we stay at your place tonight?"  
  
"Yeah, Darry won't mind once I tell him what happens." Soda said understandingly.  
  
"Two-Bit do you want me to drop you off at home?" Steve asked.  
  
"Two-Bit!" I said in spite of myself. Now I understood. He was the third person in the car. I looked over and saw him smiling.  
  
"Yeah kiddo! It's me!" he said sounding a little offended.  
  
"Sorry I just…It's just that I…It's good to see you!" I said finally. He just laughed.  
  
"It's good to see you too!"  
  
We dropped of Two-Bit and went on to the Curtis'. I didn't move from my position the entire ride. I almost forgot I was lying in Soda's arms and felt a little embarrassed when I finally realized. He just smiled at me and I went back to thinking. I wasn't really thinking about anything important. Just a lot of "what if's". I had been the type to wonder what if this happened or what if that and now there were so many. What if Steve hadn't gone to the movies? What if I hadn't even heard my aunt and uncle fighting? What if I hadn't stopped Uncle Jerry when I did? What if Steve hadn't showed up or worse what if he did and lost? My thoughts were interrupted when Soda told me we were here.  
  
I got out of the car and almost collapsed. I couldn't understand what was wrong with me. Soda offered to carry me in but I told him I could manage. It was so dark and I almost tripped over the steps but Steve caught me and brought me inside the house. It wasn't until we got inside that I realized how bad Soda and Steve looked.  
  
Steve had a huge cut from his eyebrow to his chin and his nose and his lip were bleeding uncontrollably. The sleeve on his shirt was soaked with blood and there was an awful cut where his shirt had been ripped. He looked like he had been hit in the eye since it was swelling up. Where as, Soda had a cut on his forehead and blood was running down the side of his face. His hand was busted wide open and seemed to be walking with a limp. I felt horrible when I saw them. If only I hadn't have left the house.  
  
"Listen, Kathryn can have my bed and Me, Pony and Steve will sleep in the living room." Soda explained to his older brother.  
  
"No, Little buddy," Darry told him. "She can have my bed and I'll sleep on the couch and Steve can sleep in your room on the floor.  
  
I looked over at Steve.  
  
"I can sleep out here you know." I told him. It didn't matter to me.  
  
"No, Darry won't have it. You just listen to him and you'll be fine." Steve said. "Hey listen. None of this is your fault," he told me. He must've known I was feeling guilty, "You did the right thing running out like you did. I don't know what Jerry might've done if you hadn't."  
  
"Thanks Steve." I said smiling at him. He always knew what to say to make me feel better.  
  
"No problem, kiddo. You go get some sleep all right. I'll see you in the morning." He told me.  
  
"You can have my bed." Darry said. "And no I'm not letting you sleep out here in the living room." He told me smiling. He must've heard me. I smiled and said goodnight to everyone. I went into Darry's room and tried to sleep but I knew I'd never be able to. Not with everything that had happened. But later I found out that it was for the better.  
  
Ok, ok, kinda slow but it'll lead up to something good! Well I think so anyway! Please review and tell me what you think! I also need chapter name suggestions again. Thanks for all your great reviews! 


	5. Connecting

Hey guys! Thanks for all your reviews. They're what keep me going. This story is going to have to end soon but I don't want it too. If you have any suggestions that might make it longer please tell me! This chapter is a little sappy but I thought it was kind o sweet. I didn't really put in anything about Darry but I tried to make him look sweet. Anyway please read and review! Thanks a lot! Also this chapter is a little short so…just telling you.  
  
  
  
Chapter 5  
  
  
  
I lay there in bed thinking of all that had happened that day. Trying to take it all in. It didn't seem real. I didn't seem like it had actually happened. It was like a scene from a Paul Newman movie or something. I kept asking myself why all this had happened to me. If someone had told me a month ago that all that was going to happen to me I wouldn't have believed them. But I had to except the fact that my life wasn't the same as it was a month ago and it never would be. I was so tired from all this thinking. I looked over at the clock on the bedside table. No wonder I was tired. The clock read 2:37. I couldn't believe how late it was. Even if I tried to sleep there was no way that I could. Maybe if I had some milk I'd feel better.  
  
I slowly walked over to the door and slowly opened it. As I did the hinges creaked and I stopped instantly. I waited a couple seconds for a reaction to see if I had woken anyone but nothing happened. I looked across the hall into the room to see Soda covered in all the blankets; Ponyboy huddled up trying to keep warm and Steve dead asleep on the floor. I envied them. They were all sleeping so peacefully. I continued down the hall on the way to the kitchen. It was so quiet in the house. Except for Darrys' snoring. I felt bad for the guy. He was so big sleeping on a couch that was so small. I would've fit fine but he had to scrunch up and didn't look very comfortable. I noticed how different he looked when he was asleep. When I'd seen him earlier he looked so serious and tough, like he didn't know the meaning of carefree, but now he just looked like the innocent kid he was.  
  
I opened the fridge and poured myself some milk. It took me a while to find it since the fridge consisted of Beer, Pepsi and chocolate cake. I finally found it at the back. It tasted a little sour as if they had forgotten it was there but I drank it anyway. When I shut the fridge, Darry tossed a little and I thought he was going to wake up. I didn't want to disturb him so I tiptoed across the living room and went outside to the front porch. The fresh air would do me some good. I looked around for a place to sit. There was an old ratty chair but it looked as though it'd break it I simply touched it so I sat down on the stairs. Looked up at the sky reminded me of my father. It looked beautiful and peaceful being lit up by millions of twinkling stars. I'd always liked the stars for some reason ever since I was a little girl. The fascinated me. I had thought they were little fireflies that couldn't come down. I was thinking about all the different thing I had thought stars were, when the door opened and someone stepped out.  
  
"Hey," he said. "I heard you come out here. Are you alright?"  
  
It was Soda. I could tell from his gentle voice. I felt bad waking him remembering how sound asleep he had been.  
  
"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you." I told him. "But I'm fine. I couldn't sleep and I thought that some fresh air would help."  
  
"That usually helps me." He said smiling as he sat down beside me on the steps. I could see him better now from the street light. Even with his hair all messed up he still looked handsome. "My mom always liked stars. She'd tell me where all the planets were and things. I'd never remember but she seemed to enjoy telling me. The only one I remember it Cassiopeia. See it's right there." He said pointing the group of stars that was shaped like an "M".  
  
"Why do you only remember that one?" I asked.  
  
"Well, that one was he favourite. She liked the story about the conceited queen." He said smiling.  
  
"I've always liked Orion." I told him pointing to the three stars that made up his belt.  
  
"How do you know this stuff?" He asked surprised  
  
"My dad and I used to go up to the hills in the park and stay there all night looking at them, trying to find all the constellations and making up ones of our own. We'd take a tent up there and stay up there all night. We even built our own telescope. My father was always doing things like that." I said looking at my feet.  
  
"Your dad sounds like a real great guy." Soda said.  
  
"Yeah," I said quietly. "He was." I thought I was going to cry  
  
"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked putting his arm around me. He must've notice that I was about to cry.  
  
"It's just, my dad, he used to be such a wonderful person. Then he changed." I had never told anyone except the lawyer what had happened to my father and even then I didn't tell him everything.  
  
"Well, do you want to talk about it?" he asked me.  
  
I didn't really want to talk about it with him. I didn't talk about it with anyone but I looked up in to his sympathetic eyes so full of compassion I knew I could trust him.  
  
"See, my dad and I used to get a long great," I started. "He was my best friend. We did everything together. We were inseparable. You might've said we had a perfect relationship. My mother well, I guess she got jealous or something since I never spent any time with her. She tried to talk to me about girl things like hair and boys but I didn't want to. I'd always go to my dad. Then the fights began. If I did something wrong my dad would always defend me and my mother thought he loved me more then her. Who knows, he might have. Soon, it became too much for my mother and she left. I haven't seen her in four years. At the beginning my dad tried really hard to make up for her being gone since I had loved her and I did miss her. He made up for it really well, but I never thought about him and how much he had missed her. He started to drink and it just got worse. We hardly ever did anything together anymore and I guess it killed him. One night he got really angry with me and began to hit me. I told him that I hated him and ran out of the house. I didn't want to be there with him. I did a lot of thinking that night and realized that maybe I could be more loving and supportive. I went home the next morning and found him lying in my bedroom on the floor. There was blood everywhere. He had a gun in one hand and a picture of him, my mother and me in his other hand. He'd killed himself and it was all my fault. I tried to convince myself that it wasn't my fault it was his fault since he did it but Uncle Jerry was right, I drove him to his death." My voice cracked while I said this since I had began to cry somewhere during my story. I had almost forgotten the Soda was there.  
  
"Don't say that." He told me. "It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't force him to do anything."  
  
I just looked at him. I didn't know what to say.  
  
"My parents were killed when I was young too." He told me. "I thought I would never live again. I kept telling myself if only I had done something. Hell. Pony didn't come out of his room for weeks. It was then that I realized that I had to move on. I had to take care of Pony. It was hard at first but because I did move on doesn't mean that I love them any less. Your situation is different but in the long run, you can't blame yourself for something you had no control over."  
  
What he said made a lot of sense. Soda and I stayed up most of the night talking until I was so tired that he carried me to bed. I felt closer to him then anyone, even Steve. I knew that Soda and I had really connected that night and nothing would ever be the same.  
  
  
  
This chapter was kind of short I know but I told you about her past and I wanted that to be the main thing that happened. Anyway! Please review. 


	6. Surprises

Hey everyone! All right, in this chapter, Kathryn's attitude is different because of the talk she and Soda had. It's fun at the beginning and then it gets sappy! I thought it was sweet what Soda does but you guys might think it corny! Anyway, please review! They're what keep me going!  
  
  
  
Chapter 6  
  
  
  
The next morning I woke up surprisingly early, since I'd stayed up so late the night before. I lay there in Darry's bed debating on whether or not to get up. I finally decided that I'd feel better once I had a shower and got some coffee into me. I got out of bed and walked over to the mirror. I fixed my hair a little but didn't change out of what I wore to bed. I don't think you would classify them as pajamas since it was only an old shirt of Pony's and some shorts that were far to big for me.  
  
I looked out of my door scanning the hallway. There didn't seem to be anyone around. So I began walking down the hall looking for the bathroom. I had just found it when I felt strong arms wrap themselves around my waist. I jumped when I felt them since I had been so startled. I turned around to see Two-Bit smiling at me with his famous carefree grin.  
  
"Your up early aren't you doll." Two-Bit said.  
  
"Yeah," I told him, "Do you know where I could get some coffee?" I asked in spite of myself.  
  
"Yeah kiddo. Come in the kitchen with me. I'll fix you up some." He said smiling at me.  
  
I followed him down the hall to the kitchen. I always felt uncomfortable in other people's houses. I had always been that way. I hated waking up in a strange place and having to deal with whoever lived there in the morning. But I'd rather be at the Curtis' then with Uncle Jerry.  
  
Two-Bit told me to sit down at the table and he'd fix me up some breakfast and make some fresh coffee. I was reluctant at first but he insisted. I sat down across from Ponyboy who was drinking some chocolate milk and reading the paper. He sure did look a lot like Sodapop. Thinking of Soda, I wondered where he was.  
  
"Steve and Soda went to work early this morning," Pony said, as if he were reading my mind. "They'll be back later, you can hang around with me and Two-Bit if you want."  
  
"Sure." I told him. Although I really didn't want to do much of anything but I wasn't going to be rude. "That'd be great."  
  
Two-Bit came out later and placed a plate of scrambled eggs and something that resembled bacon. I didn't really care how the breakfast looked as long as I got the coffee. I held the mug in my hands and I could feel the heat of the coffee warming my hands. I took a sip and nearly spit it out. Let's just say I had had better coffee before. I choked it down even if I didn't like it. For one, I needed the caffeine to keep my head from falling flat into my eggs. Also, Two-Bit went through all that trouble to make it for me and I didn't want to disappoint him. I quickly ate the rest of my breakfast and cleaned my dishes after practically twisting Two-Bit's arm to let me. Now that I had some coffee all I needed to do was take a shower and I should be back to normal.  
  
"Ponyboy, Do you think I could take a shower?" I asked him.  
  
"Sure, It's the second the door right down the hall on your right." He told me.  
  
"Thank You." I said before leaving the kitchen. Then I heard Two-Bit's voice vaguely from the kitchen.  
  
"I could join you if you want." He said.  
  
I couldn't help laughing out loud.  
  
"No thanks Two-Bit, I think I can manage." I said before shutting the bathroom door.  
  
They didn't have much of a bathroom but I didn't care. The toilet that looked like it hadn't been cleaned in years, which was kind of disgusting, the mirror had water stains on it and the sink was rusting around the faucet and the drain. I opened the shower curtain to find a bar of soap and a bottle of shampoo and conditioner. I thought that it would be sufficient for now but I'd have to but my own products later that day.  
  
I quickly got undressed and put my clothed on the toilet seat. I turned on the water and waited for it to heat up. It seemed to be taking forever. Just then I heard Ponyboy yell that the water doesn't get very hot so I just jumped in. I felt the cold drops hit my body and I felt the goose bumps form but I quickly got used to the temperature of the water.  
  
When I was finished I wrapped myself in a towel and squeezed some of the water out of my hair. I quickly ran into my room and got changed. I put on a sleeveless pale blue dress I had bought just a few weeks before. Once my hair was dry I pulled my bangs to the side with two hair clips. I put on a bit of make-up, enough to make me look nice and I was ready to go. I left Darry's room to find Two-Bit and Pony, know I was looking forward to our day together. I walked into the living room to find them watching Mickey Mouse like two twelve year old boys. Two-Bit was the first to notice my presence.  
  
"Well, look at you." He sad smiling and sitting up in his chair, "Don't you look cute."  
  
I didn't expect that reaction. I wasn't even dressed up. I could feel my face flushing as I looked down at my feet. I had never really learned how to take compliments so I just smiled and thanked him.  
  
"Where are we going?" I asked them.  
  
"Well, were going to go over to the Dingo to shoot some pool but I don't know if we should anymore." Pony said.  
  
"Well, why not?" I asked. I remembered pool being fun. I had played once with my dad. I hadn't played since but like Soda said it was time for me to move on.  
  
"Well, yeah see," Two-Bit started, "I don't think you'll dig the Dingo. It's not your type of people."  
  
"Oh," I said smiling, "And who are my type of people?'  
  
"He didn't mean it like that it's just…" Pony started, but I cut him off.  
  
"Listen, I don't know what kind of girl you think I am, but all I know is that I'll whip both of you in pool." I said smirking. I knew that today was going to be a really good day. My talk with Soda had really loosened my up. I might even act like my old self again.  
  
With that we were off. We had to walk sine the transmission on Two- Bit's car was shot. I didn't mind though since it was a nice July day. We walked down a street called Sutton a little ways until I saw a building with a sign that read "the Dingo".  
  
"Here, put this on." Two-Bit said handing me his leather jacket.  
  
"What? Why?" I asked. Why did he want me to put on his jacket?  
  
"Just do it. It's for your own good." He said so I did. It reeked of cheap cologne and vodka but I wasn't about to take it off.  
  
"There are two kinds of people in this neighborhood." He continued. "You have your Socs, from the south west side and then the greasers from the from the other side of town. Us, we're greasers. We don't like to mingle with other Socs. That's why I gave you my jacket. You look like a Socs, at least now you don't look so classy."  
  
"Wait," I said, "I don't understand. Why do you…". I began to as when Two-Bit cut me off.  
  
"Don't worry, doll," he said smiling, "I'll explain later."  
  
I knew he hadn't wanted to get into it then since we were approaching the building. I looked around and sort of understood what Two-Bit had been talking about. All the people here were wearing blue jeans and t-shirts or had their shirttails hanging out with old leather jacket. They all practically looked the same. The few girls that had been there were wearing clothes that could fit a ten year old. Their skirts were short and their shirts exposed a little more than I wanted to see. Now I felt glad I had been wear Two-Bit's jacket. I looked over at him and he just winked at me. He knew I understood.  
  
We walked into the building and the smoke instantly stung my eyes. I couldn't help but cough and this girl with bleach blonde hair looked over at me and sneered. I felt so out of place in my innocent blue dress but I wouldn't let it get to me. I stayed close to Ponyboy when this man in his twenties looked me up and down. I grabbed on to his arm so it looked like we were together. Pony just looked at me and smiled. He knew what I had been doing.  
  
Two-Bit found us a pool table and started setting up.  
  
"Ok Kat," he said slyly, "Show me what you got."  
  
I went over and grabbed myself a cue. I began chalking it up as if I had been playing pool my whole life. I played Ponyboy first. I had him beat in fifteen minutes. By the time I sunk the eight ball a crowd had formed. I was glad since I usually did better when I was under pressure. Next I played Two-Bit, he was more of a challenge than Ponyboy, but Just like I had before, I won. Pool had always been easy for me since it was all a matter of angles. But I decided that I'd keep that to myself.  
  
Just as we were about to leave a girl about my age came up and stood in front of me.  
  
"Hey Pony," she said, "How ya been?"  
  
The sound of her chomping on her gum was disgusting. I wondered if she knew how much the sound resembled that of a cow.  
  
"Fine Angela," he said coolly, "Just fine."  
  
"Well, that's good to hear." Then she stepped backwards and almost tripped over me.  
  
"Hey toots," she said, "Watch it."  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." I told her. It was true. I hadn't. Al I had been doing was standing there.  
  
"Yeah well maybe you should stick to your own side of town and get out of my way." She said stepping closer to me.  
  
"Hey back off, Angela." Two-Bit said angrily.  
  
"Yeah she's with us." Ponyboy added.  
  
Angela stepped away and walked off giving me an evil look. Then she disappeared into the crowd.  
  
"Hey," Pony said, "don't mind her. She's always like that."  
  
"How charming." I said with a smirk.  
  
We walked around for a while after that and ended up at the DX where Steve and Soda were. There was a crowd of girls gathered around Steve and Soda and I felt a little jealous but that soon passed when the walked right through them to come and meet us.  
  
"Hey." Soda said when he reached us. "What are you guys doing here?"  
  
"We thought we'd take Kathryn on a tour of our wonderful city." Two- Bit told him.  
  
"Where did ya'll go?" Steve asked.  
  
"Oh we walked around for a while went to the Dingo, shot some pool, got a few Pep.." Pony started before getting cut off.  
  
"You took her to the Dingo." Steve said both angrily and surprised. "Are you two insane? What if she got hurt, huh? Or the fuzz showed up and the hauled her in."  
  
I couldn't help but smile at my cousin going ballistic. He's always bee so protective of me as if I were his sister as opposed to his cousin.  
  
"Relax Steve." Pony said, "Nothing happened."  
  
"Yeah, even when Angela was bugging her she handled it like a real pro." Two-Bit added.  
  
"Angela Shepard was bugging you?" Soda asked in a concerned voice.  
  
I just smiled at him and told him it was nothing.  
  
"She's one tough chick, I'm surprised she didn't start something." Steve said.  
  
"We're getting off soon, if you want to stick around we can grab some Cokes before we go home." Soda suggested.  
  
"Sure." Pony said, "I guess we could do that. As long as you're buying."  
  
  
  
We hung around a little while and then walked down Pickett to a little diner and had a few Cokes like Soda had promised. Two-Bit even mooched his way into some chocolate cake. This had been a wonderful day but it was about to get even better.  
  
It was getting late so we decided it was time to go back for dinner so Darry wouldn't get worried. We had roast chicken and potatoes and it was surprisingly delicious. Again, I tried to offer my help in the kitchen but Darry wouldn't have it so I waited outside on the porch until everything was taken care of. I was soon joined by Soda just like I had been the night before and I wondered if we were going to make this a regular thing.  
  
"Hey," he said, "You like it out here don't you."  
  
I looked up at him and smiled.  
  
"Yeah, I guess I do." I told him, "It's nice and peaceful out here." Right after I said this I heard a bang come form inside. I figured Steve and Two-Bit were fighting. "And quiet I added."  
  
"Hey listen," he said quietly, "do you want to do something tonight."  
  
"Sure." I said whole-heartedly. I thought he was going to ask me to see a movie or something.  
  
"Really." He said surprised.  
  
"Yeah, of course." I told him, "Why wouldn't I."  
  
I think I embarrassed him when I said this since he looked down at his feet.  
  
"I don't know," he said, "I guess I'm surprised a nice girl like you wants to do something with a guy like me."  
  
"Hey," I said taking hid hand in mine, "You're a great guy. If it weren't for you I never would've opened up about my dad. I'd probably be locked in Darry's room feeling sorry for myself. You brought out the old me."  
  
"Wait here." He said and surprisingly he got up and went back into the house.  
  
I didn't understand, was it something I had said. Oh great I really liked Soda and now he thought I was weird. Just as I was about to start really going into how stupid I was for pushing him away. Soda came back out.  
  
"Come on. Let's go." He said grabbing my arm.  
  
"Wait, Soda, where are we going?" I asked.  
  
"It's a surprise." He told me with a mischievous grin. "Here put this on." He added while handing me a bandana.  
  
"Why?" I asked, At first I thought it had been for the same reason Two-Bit had wanted me to wear his leather jacket earlier today, but Soda had wanted it to act as a blindfold.  
  
It seemed as though we'd been driving for hours until we finally stopped.  
  
"Stay here in the truck for a second." Soda told me, "I'll be right back."  
  
This was turning out to be one fulfilled evening. First we drive around with me blindfolded for what seemed like hours and now I had to sit in the truck for lord knows how long.  
  
Luckily, Soda returned shortly and freed me from the vehicle. I had to remain blindfolded the whole time, which wasn't very pleasant. I never noticed before how difficult it was to walk without vision but I knew that Sodapop wouldn't let me fall. I could hear the sound of crickets and other night creatures so much more clearly then the sound of distant traffic, so I knew we must be far from the city. We seemed to be walking up hill and my legs were getting a little tired. Soda was doing a good job of keeping this a secret since I didn't have the slightest clue where we were.  
  
"Please," I pleaded sweetly, "Just a little hint."  
  
Soda let out a small laugh and I could tell he was smiling.  
  
"No. Here, sit down." He told me, so I did and sure enough under me was a soft blanket that felt as though there was hay or grass underneath it. "Ok ready. Close your eyes."  
  
Just as I did this I felt the bandana come off.  
  
"Ok, lie down." He instructed.  
  
As I lay down on the soft blanket I could feel Sodas arm under my neck.  
  
"Alright, open them." He said.  
  
I opened my eyes and was instantly greeted with millions of tiny stars. I couldn't believe it. Soda had brought me up on a hillside to look at the stars like I told him my father had done.  
  
"I know I'm not your father," Soda said softly, "but maybe someday, you could love me as much as you loved him. I know I do."  
  
I threw myself into his arms and instinctively kissed him. He was surprised at first but he melted into it.  
  
"Maybe," I said, "I already do." I meant it. I truly was in love with Soda. I always had been. Ever since that summer I spent with him three years ago. Last night and tonight just brought it out more. He had made such an impact on me with this I knew I loved him. We talked for the duration of the night, I told him about what it was like back in Kansas and more about my father and he told me about Pony and Darry and some girl named Sandy. I'd never leave Soda like she did. I wouldn't rather be any place in the world that night but in Sodapop Curtis' arms. I fell asleep with my head on his chest listening to the sound of his heartbeat, with his arms around my waist and our fingers interlocked. I fell asleep listening to his gentle voice. I knew at that moment that life in Oklahoma might just be better than Kansas.  
  
  
  
See, sap city! Anyway please review! 


	7. Shocked

Hey everyone! Thanks for all your great reviews! I absolutely LOVE getting them! Anyway about the chapter, It's a little predictable but it's still kind of cool. You learn more about Kats past and her family. Something bad happens at the beginning and it's kind of sad. But not like "Oh my god! How could this happen." bad, more like, "Aww poor Kathryn," bad! So, enjoy and please review!  
  
Soda had woken up early the next morning and decided that he'd take me to Jay's for breakfast. I told him he didn't have to take me anywhere. As long as I was with him, I was happy. But he said that he really wanted to, so we went. It wasn't to busy that morning since it was only about nine o'clock. The only people that were in there were two boys that looked about twelve who were playing pinball and three girls that were sitting in the corner giggling childishly about something. One of them was very stunning. She had golden hair that she had in a complicated braid and was wearing a pale yellow dress not unlike mine. The other two seemed to be laughing along with whatever she was saying. They were noticeably different from the girls I had seen at the Dingo yesterday. They weren't wearing much make-up, from what I could tell, and the skirts were a reasonable length. Maybe they were the type of people that Two-Bit had classified as "Socs".  
  
Soda left to get our food and almost instantly the girls came over and slid into the booth. There was something about the way they were constantly looking at one another and smiling that made me a little nervous.  
  
"Hi there," the pretty one said with a hint of a Southern accent. She was even more beautiful up close. Her eyes were the same shade as her hair which was rare and striking, "I haven't seen you `round here much. Are you new in town."  
  
The other two girls giggled when she said this. I didn't know what was going on here but I didn't exactly like it. I did the only thing I could do-answer truthfully.  
  
"Yes, I am actually," I started, "I just moved here from Kansas to live with my cousin Steve. I'm Kathryn." As I said this I put out my hand but was only greeted with what could be classified as a look of disgust. I quickly retreated my gesture and took a sip of my vanilla milkshake that had already been brought to me.  
  
"I'm Cindy and that's Rachel and Julie." She said pointing to the other two girls. One of them had jet-black hair and was rather small where as the other one had short brown hair with bangs and was a little more heavy-set than the other girls.  
  
"Wow, Kansas," Rachel, the black haired girl said, "that's pretty far." She seemed more timid and quiet than Cindy had, as if she was a good person but didn't really want anyone to know.  
  
"I see you're here with Sodapop Curtis. He's a real doll." Julie said with a sort of smirk.  
  
"Yeah, I like him." What was I thinking, I didn't like him, I was in love with him, but I decided not to correct myself.  
  
"You know," Cindy said leaning closer to me, "That's a really nice dress you have on there. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were one of us."  
  
"One of you? What do you mean one of you?" then I remembered Two-Bits words, `You have your Socs, from  
  
the south west side and then the greasers from the other side of town. Us, we're greasers. We don't like to mingle with other Socs.'  
  
"You know, upper class, the rich kids, the south side Socs." Julie explained, as I had lost my mind not knowing what a Soc was.  
  
"We really would've liked to have you on our group but once we saw you walking around with Soda well...I mean he's cute and all but...you know." Cindy told me loving every minute of it.  
  
I just sat there staring blankly at her.  
  
"He's a hood, a JD-", Julie started before being interrupted.  
  
"He's a greaser." Cindy said with slyly. I didn't like this girl. She didn't seem like a very friendly person. We had people like her back home. The type of person that enjoys watching other people suffer and making their lives a living hell. I usually wasn't so quick to judge but, she obviously was, so I think this time I'd make an exception.  
  
"It doesn't matter what a persons image is," I told her nobly as if it was right out of a novel or a film of some sort, "It's the person they are that counts."  
  
"I'm sorry you feel that way, Kat." She said putting emphasis on my name, "And to think, we almost thought you were one of us." As she got up to leave she purposely hit the table causing my milkshake to spill all over my dress. I couldn't believe that someone could be so horribly cruel.  
  
I heard her laughing and her little friend soon joined in. Rachel however wasn't laughing. She looked sympathetic and a little embarrassed as if she hadn't wanted to be with someone so coldhearted and mean.  
  
"I'm sorry," she told me softly, "She's always like that. Maybe we can get together some-", she began saying before being interrupted by Cindy.  
  
"Julie, come on. Let's go." Cindy called out.  
  
"Well, I'll see you around." Rachel said meekly before running off with the other two ignorant girls.  
  
Soda had come back moments later and saw me standing there soaking wet, covered in milkshake. He apologized for me to have to go through that and instinctively pulled me to his grasp. I just wanted to get out of there. I needed to be somewhere where the people aren't so stupidly immature.  
  
The drive back to the Curtis house wasn't as awkward as I had imagined. In fact, it wasn't awkward at all. The fear that I wouldn't be able to find anything to talk about vanished as soon as it had occurred. Soda told me all about how he, Pony and Darry used to go up to the country with his parents. I loved hearing about all the picnics they went on and how they'd swim in the lake. It reminded me of the times I went up to Texas to visit my grandfather when I was just a little girl. I'd go there every summer. It was just me, him and my grandma. He'd teach me how to ride like a man and barrel race like all the pros did on his old horse Minnie. I loved that horse. She was so well natured and hardly ever nipped. Not like Bandit. He was always kicking and bucking everyone off him, but he was still a good horse and I loved him. We'd go on hikes and pick blueberries and when we returned, if we picked enough then grandma would make a pie. I loved those fun-filled summers with my  
grandparents, but I'd never be able to have one again. They were gone. I remember the day of their funeral. Everywhere I looked my family was crying, but me, I hadn't shed a single tear. It's not as though I wasn't sad; I mean I was miserable. It was the first time I truly ever felt the pain of depression; the pain of loosing someone that close to me, but it was not to be the last. But the reason I hadn't cried was because I knew that they wouldn't have wanted me to. My grandparents were the kind of people that would travel around the world just so I wouldn't have to feel on ounce of pain. I didn't want to disappoint them. I couldn't disappoint them.  
  
When my mom ran off, I couldn't handle it anymore. I tried not to be upset, I tried not to show emotion but I couldn't. I just wasn't that strong. I remember the sharp sickening pain I felt when she left. I had entirely blamed myself. I mean I knew she knew I loved her, but I don't think she knew how much. She was always so caring and sweet, but I never paid any attention to her. Lord knows she tried to be apart of my life but I just kept on shutting her out. I had thought that the only person I needed in the world was my father. But I knew now I was wrong. Don't think that every night I don't go to sleep wondering about her, how her life is, how my life would be if she never left because I do. I wonder every night. I miss the way that she used to tuck me in. The way she used to call me her little ray of sunshine. I had always felt so proud. But I never told her. All I would do was push her aside and ask for my dad. I didn't know it then, but I was hurting her more every  
time I did that. I wished so much now that I could go back and change things. But if I saw my mother now, I don't know what I'd do. It wasn't as though I'd run into her arms, weep uncontrollably and we'd both leave happily ever after. She was the one who did this to us. She didn't have to leave. I'm pretty sure I could never forgive her.  
  
"Are you coming?" Soda asked me.  
  
I looked around and without even knowing it we had arrived back at the Curtis' house. I felt a little embarrassed since I wasn't exactly sure how long I'd been sitting there.  
  
"Oh," I said smiling at him, "Yeah, sorry, I'm coming."  
  
We walked up the rickety stairs that I had spent so many nights sitting on. I could here the noise that came from inside the house and laughed in spite of myself. If only the people who fear these boys so much could see them now, wrestling, playing poker, eating cake and watching Mickey Mouse. But as soon as we opened the door it instantly became quiet.  
  
I looked around to find four blank looking faces staring back at me. At first I was a little uncomfortable. But as soon as I saw Two-Bit crack his famous smile my nerves were more relaxed.  
  
"Well, well, well," Two-Bit said walking over to us, "It's about time you two kids showed up." He said this while affectionately punching Soda in the ribs. "And all this time, I thought Kat here was falling for the ol' Two-Bit."  
  
That's what I liked about Two-Bit, he could always break up an uncomfortable moment. No matter how awkward. I looked over to see Ponyboy sitting on the couch blushing. I knew that he thought we'd done more than we had and as strange it might be, I'd have to talk to him and explain that nothing happened.  
  
"Well little buddy," Darry said putting his strong hand on Soda's shoulder, "good thing you told me you might be out all night or I would have skinned you." Then he grabbed Soda and put him in a gentle headlock and began messing up his hair. Just as I was feeling at ease Steve came over to me with a stern look on his face.  
  
"Why'd you do it?" he asked in all seriousness.  
  
"Why'd I do what?" I asked him. What was he talking about?  
  
"You know," he continued, "Why'd you go out with Soda. You know you can do better than one of us."  
  
"Steve what's gotten in to you?" I asked confused. I didn't understand. I thought of all people that Steve would be the happiest to see Soda and I together but apparently I was wrong. Really wrong.  
  
"I just don't want to see you get hurt ok," he said this and stalked over to the table to count his money from poker. There was something about the way he had said it that really bothered me. Was it wrong to jump into a relationship with out knowing hardly anything about Soda? No. Steve was just being his over-protective self. I was sure of it.  
  
The next few days were kind of slow. Soda had to work most of the week so I just stayed at home with Ponyboy. Two-Bit occasionally came over and we'd have some fun but it was usually just me and Pony. He was a real special kid the kind that's always doing intelligent things like reading and writing. Though he seemed to be a little depressed. As though there was a part of him that was missing. I didn't exactly know what and it wasn't my place to ask him so I just kept to myself.  
  
One morning I was washing the dishes while Pony was quietly watching some western movie and I saw a car pull up. I assumed it was Two-Bit or Soda home early so I picked up another mug. But when I heard the sound of knocking I realized it couldn't be one of them. They would've just barged right in. Since Pony was really into his movie and I didn't want to disturb him, I told him that I'd answer the door.  
  
I pulled open the wooden front door to find a women standing with her back to me through the screen.  
  
"Can I help you?" I asked politely. The women turned around and I could feel my eyes get wider with the sight of her. Everything went quiet except for the sound of the mug I was holding slipping out of my hands and shattering on the hard floor beneath me. I stood there in complete shock.  
  
"Hello Katty dear." She said.  
  
I couldn't think. I couldn't speak. What was she doing here? How could she have found me? Then the words came to me.  
  
"Mom?"  
  
*Please review* 


	8. Deception

Hey Everyone! Man, I always say that. It's like my trademark, that and keep Writing in all my reviews. Ok, Ok the chapter the chapter. Well it's pretty sad. Kathryn gets in a little trouble and is pretty bummed by the end. I assure you, you'll hate someone at the end of this chapter. I didn't really capture the mood as well as I had hoped. It's a little rushed and LONG but; it's all good right! Well enjoy! And Please review!!  
  
I stood there in complete shock. If Ponyboy hadn't rushed over reassuringly put his hand on my back, I most likely would've fainted. I was feeling so many emotions at the same and it was rather over whelming. I didn't know whether to feel angry or overjoyed. Resentful or ... I didn't know whether or not to cry or jump into her arms and hug her. All I knew is that I was surprised. I felt betrayed by this women and yet, there was something about her that was holding me back from complete revulsion. Maybe it was the fact that she was my mother, or that she had come all this way to find me. I don't know why but for some reason I couldn't hate her.  
  
I saw her standing there in the doorway. I knew it was her, but I couldn't exactly tell. She looked so different from the wholesome mother I remember. She used to be so naturally beautiful, it was a shame she had hidden it in layers and layers of make-up. Her hair that was once been the colour of mine, and had been always tied in a neat little ponytail, was now the colour of the sun and had so much hairspray in it, it looked like a bird's nest. She had her natural colour showing at the roots and you could easily tell that her hair had been dyed. She wasn't wearing her usual clothes either. She had on tight jeans that were ripped in the knee and a sweatshirt over top. I wonder why she was dressing like this? I don't think she realized how ridiculous she looked.  
  
After standing there for a few minutes on the Curtis' porch, my mother finally spoke.  
  
"Can I come in or not?" She asked.  
  
Her voice was different. It wasn't the same one that had used to sing me lullabies, had once told me not to worry and that everything would be all right, it wasn't the same voice that had once told me how much she loved me. Now it was horse and raspy, like that of a heavy smoker.  
  
"I suppose so." I told her in a monotone voice. I didn't want to let on that I was even remotely happy to see her. I wanted her to know how she had hurt me and it was time for her to feel the pain of guilt that I had felt for the past for years.  
  
"Wow, baby, you look great." She told me grabbing my wrists and pulling them outward to have a better look at me. I knew she was trying to pretend as if nothing had ever happened but it wasn't going to work that way.  
  
"How's Stan?" I asked ignoring the compliment.  
  
"Who's Stan?" she as confused. The way she acted as though she didn't know what I was talking about really mad me upset.  
  
"You know," I said with a scowl, "that optometrist. I do believe you left dad and me for him. Didn't you?"  
  
I instantly regretted it but when I saw that my accusing mark didn't even affect her I was amazed. Could this woman feel nothing?  
  
"Oh him," she started, sitting down on the couch motioning for me to join her. "Well he began to get fatter and loose his firm body so I left him. Then I went on to marry Al, but he had way to many children for my liking. Can you imagine taking care of three little ankle-biters the rest of my life? Not for me. Then there was Trent," as she said this she leaned back and stared up at the ceiling as if to be picturing him affectionately. "now there was a man I was proud to call my own. He was tall, handsome, had a great tan, and young to, very young. But I guess I was just to old for him and he decided to go back too finish his medical degree to become a chief surgeon in a big-time hospital."  
  
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. If I didn't know better I wouldn't have even thought that this was my mother. Leaving me because they were fat and had children. Dating people in university. This wasn't my mother. She was so different. Like she under went a personality change.  
  
Then I thought of how she must be feeling. I mean she'd tried the wife thing and all though she was good at it, she hadn't really expected it to be that hard. Maybe she was looking for a change. But was that really an excuse for seeing a collage student.  
  
"Hey honey," she said sweetly, "why don't we go get something to eat."  
  
"I'm not really that hungry." I lied. I was starving. But I didn't want to give her the satisfaction.  
  
"Please Kat," she pleaded, "just give me a chance. It'll give us time to talk and catch up with each other.  
  
As usual, I was reluctant but I didn't see the harm in having a simple meal with the woman. So I eventually agreed. I told Ponyboy that we were leaving and he made sure that I was ok with this. He had been so good through the entire thing. He was always checking in to see if I was all right and even offered to go with us, but I knew that I needed this as much as my mother and it'd be best if we were alone. Pony was always so caring and sweet. He's the kind of kid you can't help but love.  
  
My mother and I went to the diner Mrs. Mathews, Two-Bit's mother, worked at. She was a nice lady and she reminded me of the way my mother used to be. We sat down at a booth and a young waitress with short red hair and freckles came to take our order. My mother ordered a double cheeseburger, which an hour ago would've been surprising but now seemed typical, and a Pepsi where as I ordered a salad and a glass of water. She found her joke implying that I was anorexic hilarious while I just found it harsh. She was being so strange that I couldn't hold it in any longer.  
  
"Mom, what's happened to you?" I said emotionally. She looked up from her plate surprised. "You used to be so smart, so responsible. Now look at you, you have the maturity level of a 15 year old. I don't understand you used to be such a good mother." I couldn't stand to see her like this. Her life thrown away like this. I could feel the sting of tears burning in my eyes.  
  
"Oh sweetheart," she said grabbing my hand across the table, "You've got it all wrong. Oh honey, don't cry." She said sounding again like the mother I knew. "I only acted like this so you'd think I was fun to be with and then maybe you wouldn't be so reluctant to..." she stopped suddenly.  
  
"Reluctant to what?" I asked her.  
  
"Well, see sweetie, when I heard that you had ran out on Jerry and Susie, well I was horrified at the fact that you lived with three strangers you didn't even know. That's why I came down here Katty. I thought maybe that we could move back in together. Be a family again."  
  
I thought about it for a while. It didn't seem like that bad of an idea. She said herself that she doesn't actually act the way she had when she first saw her and she seemed to be the same mom she had been four years ago. But how did she know she was going to stay this time.  
  
"How do I know that you're not going to leave again?" I asked her.  
  
"Honey, do you really think I would come all the way down here just to leave you again?" she said lovingly.  
  
She had a point. I looked up at her. All of her eye make-up was streaming down the side of her face, but underneath all that I saw the real her. I could tell by her eyes. They he were so full of love and affection. Then I noticed something I never did before. Her eyes. My eyes. They were the same. I had my mother's compassionate, icy blue eyes. Eyes that reveal what a person is feeling even if they don't express it. I knew she loved me and wouldn't ever hurt me again.  
  
"Ok mom," I told her happily, "we can buy a house together and become a family again."  
  
The expression on her face changed when I said this.  
  
"Well, you see sweetie, I didn't think that it'd be so soon. I still have to get another job and make some money before I do anything." She told me.  
  
Money. I thought about it. Money wasn't a problem.  
  
"I have money." I shouted in spite of myself. It was so loud that at least nine people in the diner turned around and gave me strange looks. "I have lots of money." I said much quieter the second time.  
  
My mother laughed a little before saying, "I don't think it's enough for a house darling."  
  
"Oh but it is," I told her, "It's all the money Dad had saved up for my collage tuition and the summer beach house we were going to buy."  
  
I saw my mothers face light up, although I could tell that she was trying to hide it.  
  
"No," she said finally, "I couldn't do that."  
  
"Mom, I'll be living there to, I have to pay my share." I reassured her.  
  
After much consideration, she accepted. I gave her the cheque the lawyer had given me and made it so it was possible for my mother to cash it. She told me that she had to go look for a job for the rest of the day and then go back to the hotel she was staying at to pack her things. She told me that she'd pick me up at the Curtis' to go look for houses and the first one we liked we'd buy. With that she left the diner.  
  
"Looks like you'll be starting a new life there kiddo." Mrs. Mathews said to me.  
  
"Looks like I will," I told her smiling, "Looks like I will."  
  
I paid the bill and walked across the street to the DX. Steve and Soda were working and I just had to tell someone.  
  
"Hey Kat," Steve said, "what are you doing here?"  
  
"You'll never guess who came to the house." I told them enthusiastically.  
  
Soda laughed a little and flashed his famous smile before saying, "Who Kat?"  
  
"My mom." I exclaimed. As I said this Soda's smile faded and Steve's excitement seemed to have vanished.  
  
"What is wrong with you two?" I said a little irritated. "Didn't you hear me, my mom, my mom is here."  
  
"Well," Steve said finally, "What does she want?"  
  
"She wants us to buy a house together and become a family again." I told them. "Isn't that fantastic?"  
  
"Wait, she wants you to leave," Soda said quietly. "Yeah, real terrific."  
  
"Soda, it's not like that." I explained, taking his hands in mine, "I'm not leaving Oklahoma. I'm just moving away."  
  
"Are you sure you can trust her?" he asked, "I mean she did already leave once."  
  
I was a little surprised that he would just come out and say that but I think he was afraid that I was going to leave him like Sandy did, so I understood.  
  
"I know I can trust her Soda." I told him softly, "I can tell that she misses me."  
  
"Ok, but be sure to live close by ok." He said smiling at me.  
  
"Of course I will." I said pulling him into a hug. "I could never be to far away from you." He kissed my head and then I pulled away. Just as I was about to leave, I noticed Steve with an angry expression on his face.  
  
"Don't worry, Steve." I said, "I'll be fine."  
  
"What?" he said in a confused voice, "Oh, yeah, right. I know Katty, I know."  
  
I went to bed that night dreaming of the life ahead of me. I kept picturing a white little house, with a huge backyard. We'd have a picnic table that would sit on perfect green grass. We'd plant a beautiful garden to enjoy for the duration of the summer and everyday, Mom and I would take care of it together. When we were through, we'd have cake and chocolate milk on the porch and just talk about what a great day we had. Maybe we'd even get a dog and take it for walks on the beach and have a picnic in the sand. As long as I was dreaming, I made sure Soda was there. He and mom got along perfectly and they decided that they'd get married in the fall. Steve had gone back to high school and gone to collage and earned himself a respectable job and everyone was as happy as they'd ever been. I woke up the next morning feeling completely optimistic and ready to start a new improved life, which included my mother. But reality is always worse then the dream; in this case, much worse.  
  
I had taken a shower, blow-dried my hair and put it up in the nicest way possible. I put on a tan skirt and a nice blue sleeveless shirt. I wanted to look my best for today. I knew from the moment I woke up that it'd be one to remember. I ate a good breakfast consisting of eggs, dry toast and orange juice that was a little warm but I wasn't going to complain. I brushed my teeth and checked the time. 12:07 it read. I had to hurry; she was going to be here any minute.  
  
I sat on the porch and waited. I would stand up and look down the road every time I heard a car coming. But every time I did, the car would just zip on past. I waited out there for what seemed like forever when Pony came out.  
  
"Hey, I thought you'd be long gone by now." He said smiling.  
  
"Oh she's just running a little late. It's probably traffic or something." I told him. I couldn't believe I had said that. I was making excuses for her. But who knows it was still early. She'd just have to explain herself that's all.  
  
"Well, It's 2:30. Are you sure you want to wait out here all by yourself? I can stay you know." He offered  
  
"No thanks Pony. I'll be fine. Thanks anyway." I told him. See what I mean about Pony, can't help but love him.  
  
"Ok Kat, I'll see you later. Tell me how it goes with your mom ok." He said running down the steps to meet Two-Bit.  
  
"Ok," I said quietly, although I knew he couldn't have heard me. "I will."  
  
I waited another four hours on the porch. Slowly getting more and more aggravated. More and more frustrated. More and more wanting to kick myself for trusting her and giving her everything I had. She wasn't coming. It was all an act and I had fallen for it. What kind of person takes money from their sixteen-year-old daughter that was given to her by her dead father. All I wanted right now was to be with Soda. Soda always understood. He was the only person could truly trust. Maybe Steve, but I'd soon be mistaken about him.  
  
*Please Review* 


	9. Rage

Hey everyone! ;) Wow! Chapter Nine! I never dreamed I'd get this far. I've been sick that's why it's been a while! I hope you haven't lost interest. This chapter is kind of slow at the beginning but I think it gets better toward the end. I tried to show the sympathetic, sensitive side of Darry and it didn't come out as well as I had hoped but hey. Also, I don't know if Steve would actually act the way he does in this chapter but I hope you think it's realistic. Anyway, Enjoy and Please review! Thanks! *Kathryn*  
  
  
Chapter 9  
  
  
I sat in that same spot for hours. Watching people driving by in their cars, still having a shred of hope that my mother was one of them but I knew in my heart she wasn't coming back, I knew in my heart that earlier that day in the diner was the last time I would ever see her again. I just sat there, wondering what could have possessed her to do something so cruel and heartless. It was as though she had no perception of other people's feelings. She wasn't my mother. Maybe she was at some point but not anymore. The moment she walked out on us she had stopped being my mother. She was just a woman who used to care for me but now all she wanted was for herself to be happy. To make sure that she was going to be all right. I was so ashamed of myself for being manipulated by her, falling for her story. She actually believed that out of nowhere, this woman comes into her life with no warning at all and decides that she wants to start over and become a family. How could I not have seen right through her?   
  
My thoughts of anger and deception were interrupted when from the corner of my eye I saw a vehicle pull into the driveway. Instantly I jumped up and felt a rush of excitement take over my body, but the sensation quickly vanished when I saw that it was only Darry and not my mother. I was disappointed that I had jumped to such quick conclusions even though it was now late in the evening and I had already come to the realization that she wasn't coming. Darry looked tired and I didn't want to bother him with my petty problems so I avoided looking at him so he couldn't tell that I was depressed. I never really talked to Darry much and he came off as a tough as nails kind of guy and I didn't want to be much trouble to him. But my fool proof plan of not making eye contact failed drastically, since I forgot the small fact that my face was covered in tears and the little make-up I had been wearing was now running down my cheeks.   
  
"Hey," he said sympathetically, sitting down beside me, "What's the matter kid, I thought you were supposed to be out looking for houses with your mom?"  
  
I looked up at him and he actually looked worried. I didn't understand, I always thought that he thought of me as another burden holding him back from the life that he truly wanted to live, but now it seemed as though he really did care about me and was concerned why I was crying.  
  
"Yeah," I said finally between primary sniffles. I was embarrassed to be crying over this but I couldn't help it, "I was supposed to but she never showed up."  
  
He looked at his feet before responding to what I said. I knew that he knew that she was never coming back.  
  
"Well, maybe she was just-" he started before I cut him off.  
  
"No," I told him, "she just didn't want me I guess."  
  
"Hey," he said putting a reassuring arm around me, "Don't talk like that. I'd be proud to be your mother."  
  
I looked up at him and saw the expression on his face and couldn't help but laugh.  
  
"Well you know what I mean," he continued, "you're a great girl. If it's any consolation, I'm glad that you and Soda are connecting. He's been so lonely ever since Sandy left. You're the first girl I've seen him get close to in a while. I knew you had to be special. You're also the only person I know of that he can so easily open up to. Hell, you probably know more about him than I do. But then again we don't really talk much. He just mainly talks to Pony. But when he told me about all the things you talked about that night in the park, I knew you had to be on special kid."  
  
"Thanks Darry," I told him, "You're a real nice guy too." I added punching him affectionately in the arm liked I'd seen Two-Bit do so many times before. He seemed surprised at first but then he just smiled at me.   
  
Almost instantly I saw an old red revved up T-Bird pull up to the curb and both Soda and Steve jumped out. As soon as the door shut the car sped off with it's wheels screeching. They ran up the steps laughing at something and I smiled in spite of myself since they looked as though they were little junior high kids who had just won their play-off game.  
  
Soda was the first to notice that something was wrong. It hurt to see his carefree smile I loved so much fade. I knew it was my fault and felt a little upset to cause him to worry.  
  
He ran up and hugged me instantaneously.   
  
"She never came did she?" He said pulling me back and looking into my eyes.  
  
I was amazed that he had known so quickly.  
  
I just shook my head and buried my face in his shoulder listening to his comforting words and felt him gently stroking my hair.]  
  
"It's ok baby," he soothingly, "You'll be ok. I'm here."  
  
I felt Steve whiz by me and slam the door. I looked up at Sodapop and even he seemed confused. We ran in behind him to find him hunched over leaning on the piano.   
  
"Stevie?" Soda asked, "What's the matter, pal?"  
  
I didn't know what to think. The muscles I could see had been all tense and he seemed to be full of rage and was about to be unleashed at any second. I grabbed Soda's hand for comfort. I had never seen Steve look so angry.  
  
"What's the matter pal?" he calmly repeated, then paused before yelling, "Don't you, 'What's the matter pal?' me!" When he said this, he knocked all the pictures and trophies off the top of the piano and I could feel Soda tense up. What was wrong with him? He had been so happy a minute ago.   
  
Soda calmly walked over to him.   
  
"Hey, take it easy buddy." He told Steve softly.  
  
"I'm sorry," he said panting, "It's just, I don't like you and Kathryn together."  
  
"Wh-What are you talking about Steve?" Soda asked in a confused voice.  
  
"You know what I mean." Steve said getting upset again, "I don't want her dating any of us."  
  
Soda looked hurt. Steve didn't want me dating a guy like Soda? Why?  
  
"What do you mean any of us?" Soda asked hurt.  
  
"You know damn well what I mean," he said angrily, "I guy like you, guys like us, a guy like me. I don't want her to end up like that?"  
  
"Hey Steve, I know what you mean but you have to understand-" Soda started.  
  
"No Sodapop, you have to understand, she's better than that. She should be with someone better."  
  
"Look I love her! Is that what you want. I love her and I would never hurt her ever." Soda said getting a little angry himself.  
  
There was a silence. I was getting scared. I'd seen Steve's temper before. I knew what he was capable of. What was worst though was that, Steve reminded me of his father.   
  
"Love," Steve sneered, "Hah, you don't know what love is."  
  
"Look, I won't hurt her the way your father does your mother I'm not like-" Soda started.  
  
Steve couldn't take it. Even thought his father was a horrible person he still loved him. Steve did the only thing he could do. He grabbed Soda's collar and punched him right in the face. Soda flew back from the impact and I crashed into the table knocking him onto his feet. He felt his lip and saw it was bleeding. His eyes then were filled with rage and lunged at Steve's legs, causing him to fall to the ground.  
  
"Soda stop! Please!" I pleaded, but he wouldn't listen.   
  
It came to the point where Darry had to lift Soda off Steve and then carry Steve out of the house. I couldn't believe what had just happened. Soda got up and came over to me. He looked a little ashamed of what had just happened. I saw his forehead was bleeding and I lifted my hand to his face to wipe away the blood. As I did this he winced in pain. He put his hands on my waist and looked deep into my eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry," he told me, "I do love you. I would never hurt you, ever."  
  
I put my finger on his mouth, implying for him to stop talking.  
  
"I know, honey," I told him, "I know."  
  
He pulled me closer and kissed me. I knew then that it was true. No matter what Steve thought, or said, that Sodapop would always love me and never, ever do anything to hurt me.   
  
*Please Review* 


	10. Feelings

Hey Everyone! I'm sorry it took me so long but I wrote this chapter like 10 different times, honestly. I didn't know what was supposed to happen. I decided to be daring and add a little twist although now I don't know where I'm going with this. Some people might not like it, in fact I KNOW some people won't like it and they'll hate me for it but please don't flame. But if you really want to just e-mail me with your complaints, don't officially review! Thanks! I HOPE that you like it. Please Review.  
  
Chapter 10  
  
I knew that I had to go after Steve. I had never seen him like this before but I knew whatever he was going to do wasn't exactly going to be productive. I hoped Soda didn't think that I was abandoning him for going after Steve but I had to find him, I just had to. For lack of anything better to do, I looked around the room. Soda was sitting in a beat up old chair rubbing his lip as though if he rubbed it enough the pain would eventually go away. Darry was in the kitchen frantically trying to find some sort of cloth to put the melting ice that he was holding in.  
  
"I don't need any ice Darry." Soda called to his brother from the living room, "What I need is to go find Steve. You know what he's like when he gats steamed like this. I don't want him to hurt anybody, or worse, get hurt himself."  
  
"No way," Darry said coming into the room. I was surprised to see him without a shirt but then saw that he had used it right off his back to put the ice in. I couldn't help but smiling at the devotion he had for his brother. "Sorry little buddy, but I can't let you go out there like this. You're obviously hurt and pretty worked up yourself."  
  
"But Darry," Soda said getting up from his chair to add compassion, "That's my buddy out there. Don't you even care what happens to him? Besides I hate having him pissed at me."  
  
"I know Soda, but I just can't let you go." Darry said sympathetically.  
  
I could see Darry's point. He didn't want his little brother out at night when he was hurt and angry. But someone had to bring Steve home.  
  
"I could go look for Steve." I suggested, "After all he is my cousin."  
  
"I can't let you do that Kathryn." Soda said, instantly rejecting my idea, "It's dangerous out there. I should go."  
  
"Soda, honey, you can't go." I said walking over to him, "Besides, I don't think that you're the person that Steve wants to talk to right now. He might try to start something again."  
  
Soda was about to say something, but gave in. He leaned back in his chair and sighed. I knew that he knew I was right although I don't think that he wanted me too.  
  
"Now wait a minute," Darry said, "I can't just let you go out on your own."  
  
"Darry, I'll be fine." I told him, "Anyway, you have to stay here in case Steve comes back."  
  
"I guess you're right." Darry said, "But you better be careful."  
  
"I will." I told him smiling. I walked over to Soda and wiped the blood away that was trickling down his sweaty cheek. I leaned in and kissed him before saying, "Don't worry. I'll find him."  
  
"I know you will, take care of yourself ok." He told me.  
  
"I will." I said for the second time that night and with that I was out the door.  
  
As soon as I got out there I realized that this wasn't going to me so easy. I had no idea where my cousin was or in what direction he was going. It made it easier to know that he was walking as opposed to driving. I thought about it for a second and decided that Steve would probably go to the Dingo so I started down the street to the right.  
  
While I was walking I had a lot of time to think. What I couldn't get off my mind was when Steve had said 'A guy like you, guys like us, a guy like me'. What did he mean by that. I know that Soda wasn't very wealthy but I didn't care. Just because he was underprivileged doesn't mean that he was a bad person. Sodapop was the best person that I had ever known, how could Steve not want us to be together. I guess it was because Steve had never known what real love was like. He probably thought that we would just turn out like his parents; miserable and cold. But I knew that would never happen to Soda and me. We loved each other too much to let anything get in the way. But maybe Steve had some other reason not to want me and Sodapop to be together. Was there something I didn't know, something he never told me?  
  
Before I could get into that I saw someone walk into what seemed to be a vacant lot. I automatically thought it was Steve and started to walk faster. I could hear the faint sound of drunken screams and whoops coming from ahead but ignored them. I needed to find Steve; I needed to talk to him. As I got closer the noise got louder. I was getting a little nervous but I had to see for myself. Once I was approaching the spot where I saw the boy enter I slowed down just in case it wasn't Steve I didn't want whoever it was to see me. When I got close enough I could see there were about ten to fifteen boys, all sitting on the hoods of their beaten-up cars, smoking, drinking and laughing just for the hell of it. I looked around trying to spot Steve but I couldn't. Unfortunately, a rather large looking boy with long greasy hair spotted me. He began to tell his buddies and one by one their heads slowly turned in my direction until every single one of their drunken eyes were transfixed on me. The thing that scared me the most were the way that evil smirk spread across each of their faces as if they were all thinking the same evil thought.  
  
Just as I was about to leave, I felt a rough hand slip over my mouth and a strong arm grip my waist and pull me backward. Before I could begin kicking and screaming, he spun me around and a wave of relief rushed over me when I saw the familiar face. It was Two-bit. He indicated for me to be quiet by placing his finger over his lips. He stepped in front of me protectively as the boy who first spotted me came up to us.  
  
"Hey Tim, having a little party I see." He told him calmly.  
  
"Why yes we are. I just thought I'd come over here and see if that cute little broad behind you wanted to, you know, come party with us." He said before smirking and winking at me.  
  
I just smiled gripping closer to Two-Bit.  
  
"Who, Kat, nah I don't think so Tim. See we were on a date and she wanted to see what you guys were up to. I have to take her home or else her old man'll kill me." Two-Bit said calmly.  
  
"Aww, forget her old man, come have some fun." Tim said trying to convince Two-Bit to stay.  
  
"I better not." He told him, "I'm trying to get in good with him ya know. See what it's like to actually have the father of my girl like me for once."  
  
"Alright then Two-Bit. You bring her around later." He told him, "What I can't understand is why a pretty little thing like that is going with a bum like you." He started laughing and ruffled Two-Bit's hair a little before walking back to the group.  
  
Two-Bit turned around and smiled at me but his smile vanished instantly when he saw my expression.  
  
"Hey, what's wrong." He asked, "Why are you out here anyway?"  
  
I couldn't even look at him. All I could see was Steve. He was at that party, drunk as hell, with a beer in his hand. I couldn't believe it. He knew that I hated when people got drunk, he knew that I hated all people who were drunk and yet there he was one of those people, drunk.  
  
Finally Two-Bit caught on. He turned around and saw what I saw.  
  
"You don't need to see this." He told me, "C'mon let's get outta here."  
  
"No." I said simply. I wasn't leaving. Not now anyway.  
  
"I'll take you home, let's go." He pleaded, gripping my arm trying to pull me away.  
  
"No!" I said louder.  
  
I walked over to that vacant lot passed all the boys who I had earlier been terrified of as if they weren't even there.  
  
"Look who decided to come back after all?" I hear Tim yell.  
  
"Lay off Tim." Two-Bit said defending me. I was surprised Two-Bit was still there. If it had been anyone else, they would've left by now.  
  
I walked over to Steve. He reeked of the alcohol on his breath and the smoke on his clothes.  
  
"Heeey Katty!" He said slurring his words together, taking a sip of his beer.  
  
"Don't 'Hey Katty' me Steve." I said grabbing his beer and throwing it to the ground. The bottle shattered just like my respect for Steve had.  
  
"What the hell did you do that for? Now I have to go get another one." He said angrily.  
  
I just ignored him.  
  
"How could you do this to yourself, Steve? How could you do this?" I pleaded.  
  
"Do what?" he asked before hiccupping.  
  
"How could you become the type of person you loath, the type of person you hate, we hate?" I tried to ask him, although it was difficult since he couldn't even focus on my eyes.  
  
"Oh loosen up, I've only had a couple." He said, trying to defend himself.  
  
"A couple?" I repeated, "You don't get this drunk from a couple."  
  
"Ok so I had a few more then a couple. What do you care anyway?" He asked.  
  
"Because Steve, I care about you." I told him, I could feel the tears stinging my eyes. I tried to stop. I didn't want to cry for him. Not like this anyway. "You're my family, that's what families do."  
  
"Well Kat this is what I do." He said, taking a drag on his cigarette. "And I have my own family."  
  
"Would you listen to yourself, you sound like an drunken idiot." I told him.  
  
He seemed to get offended since he grabbed my arm. "Now you listen to me." His breath was so strong of alcohol I nearly gagged, "I am not an idiot. I'm just having a little fun."  
  
"You're right, you're not an idiot." I said with tears streaming down my cheeks, "What you are is just like your father, and that's far, far worse than any idiot."  
  
His arm went up as if he was going to hit me and my heart stopped, but someone from behind me grabbed his arm.  
  
"I don't think so Steve." Two-Bit's voice said, "You don't want to do anything you'll regret now."  
  
"Butt out Two-Bit, this doesn't concern you." He told him.  
  
"Yes it does." Two-Bit said calmly.  
  
"Yeah, how?" Steve asked.  
  
"Because I'm not about to let you hit the girl that I love." Two-Bit blurted out.  
  
I turned around and looked at him. He looked as thought he wanted to kick himself for saying that and I could see in the dim light that his face was red.  
  
"What?" Steve said, "You don't love her, Sodapop does."  
  
"Yeah I-I know, that's what I meant. I meant I'm not gonna let you hit the girl Sodapop loves."  
  
I could tell that wasn't what he meant. Why hadn't he told me? Would it have changed anything if he'd told me sooner? I couldn't believe what a day this was turning out to be  
  
  
  
*Don't be angry! Please Review* 


	11. Kisses

Hey Everyone! See I told you that I still do Dark Sunshine despite the fact that I started Rough All Over! Well if you didn't like chapter 10 you won't like this but it you did then you might! Also if you didn't read chapter 10 (*glare* hehe j/k) then you won't understand this chapter! Again special thanks to 'Mad' Molly for helping me with this chapter! I don't know if I would've posted it if she hadn't told me too! Enjoy and Please Review!  
  
  
  
Chapter 11  
  
  
  
I just stood there, staring up at Two-Bit's cold gray eyes. What did he mean '…the girl I love'? How could he love me, he didn't even know me. This didn't exactly add up, but there was something about his eyes. I'm not exactly sure what it was but there was just something different. They didn't look so carefree and joyful; they now looked worried in some way. I didn't understand it.  
  
"Listen Tim," he said after letting go if Steve's arm and stepping in front of me to ensure Steve wouldn't try to hurt me again, "You make sure that Steve gets home alright. Actually, you better take him to the Curtis'; I don't want his old man to see him like this. There's no telling what he might do."  
  
"Sure thing Two-Bit." He said, then he turned to me, "I'm sorry you had to see that doll, you gotta know that we just do this for fun not like the real drunks who do it cause they need to."  
  
"Thanks Tim. I understand." I lied. I didn't understand. I didn't understand why someone would find getting drunk fun. It really didn't make any sense at all.  
  
"C'mon Kat." Two-Bit said, "I'd better take you back to the Curtis'." I was a little worried since Two-Bit didn't really sound like himself.  
  
"Alright." I told him. But as we were turning toward the direction to go back to the house, I wouldn't go. "Two-Bit," I said, "Do you think that we could go for a walk or something. I really need to talk to someone right now."  
  
When I said this Two-Bit tensed up a little. I really don't think that he wanted to talk.  
  
"Sure," he said finally, "we can go for a walk and talk."  
  
For a few blocks we didn't say anything. I just kept picturing Steve being drunk as his father and couldn't find the words that I wanted to say. I felt so angry at him but I tried to sympathize. I was also still confused about what Two-Bit had said, but I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable.  
  
"Y'know, I only said I was in love with you so Tim would believe that we were going together." Two-Bit told me finally, trying to break the ice.  
  
"Oh," I replied, "That's what I thought you meant." I was lying again. I had been so confused, but now that he cleared it up I was a little relieved. But surprisingly, I was a little sad. It wasn't as though I loved Two-Bit. I loved Sodapop and I knew it.  
  
"I just saw the look on your face and I thought you might be a little confused." He continued.  
  
"Yeah, I was at first," I told him, "but now it makes perfect sense."  
  
We walked in silence all the way to the park. I didn't like being there since it was the same park where those drunken "Socs" had tried to hurt me. I felt safer though with Two-Bit there. I remembered how drunk they had been. How they didn't know what they were doing. Then I thought that Steve could eventually end up like those boys, getting drunk and then driving around town trying to harm innocent girls. Just the thought of Steve ending up like that forced me let it all out. The tears just started gushing and I fell to the ground.  
  
"How could he do this?" I pleaded. "How could he become like so many people that I hate. He's just like my father; just like his father; just like those Socs that tried to do go knows what to me. Why, why, Why?  
  
Two-Bit knelt down to the ground by my side and scooped me up in his strong arms and pulled me close to him.  
  
"Hey, it's gonna be ok." He told me soothingly, "You gotta know that Tim was right. We only do this stuff for fun. That's how we get kicks."  
  
"What," I said looking up at him, frantically wiping the tears from my eyes, "What do you mean, "we"? You mean you get drunk too?"  
  
Two-Bit smirked and looked away from me.  
  
"Well, maybe a little, sometimes." He said, although I knew he was lying.  
  
"But he-he," I said between breaths, "He tried to hit me." I said finally.  
  
"I know, I know and he shouldn't have done it." Two-Bit said, the he changed his tone, "No one should ever try to hurt you."  
  
Then something strange happened. I felt as though I had known Two-Bit my entire life. As though we had been friends since we were little kids. But it wasn't as though we were friends it was more like I had been I love with Two-Bit Mathews all of my life.  
  
"Kat," he said quietly, "Remember when I told you that when I said I loved you it was all an act for Tim Shepard's sake."  
  
"Of course," I said smiling, "You just told me a few minutes ago."  
  
"Right," he said, a little embarrassed, "Well, I wasn't exactly-what I mean is-" Then he got really into it and turned to face me. "Kat, have you ever thought you loved someone, but the timing was off?"  
  
I didn't understand, what did this have to do with Tim Shepard?  
  
"Two-Bit, what are you getting at?" I asked him.  
  
He grabbed my shoulders and I couldn't help smiling at his enthusiasm.  
  
"Ok, how about this," He said, shaking me a little, "Have you ever loved someone that you couldn't have?"  
  
I thought about it for a second then it came to me.  
  
"Oh, I know what you mean." I told him.  
  
He just smiled and motioned for me to say.  
  
"I know exactly how you feel." When I said this he looked a little relived. "Yeah, this one time, when I was in grade four, I had the hugest crush on Bobby Reynolds, but he was going with Trudy Baker, so there was no way that-"  
  
Then, to my complete surprise, Two-Bit pulled me closer to him sliding his arms around my small waist and kissed me right there under that oak tree. I was surprised at first but then I wrapped my hands around his neck and kissed him back ever harder than he kissed me. I couldn't believe what was going on, where had this come from, I had no idea why Two-Bit was kissing me. He hadn't even showed any interest.  
  
I could hear the faint sound of footsteps in a distance and then they stopped. I broke the kiss to see who it was but before I could turn to see I heard a voice.  
  
"I was worried about you when Steve came home drunk and you didn't so I came to see if you were alright," he said, "But I guess since Two-Bit's here you're just fine."  
  
I knew that voice. It was the worst possible voice I wanted to hear at that moment. Not because I didn't want to hear it, I could go on listening to that voice my entire life, but because I didn't want to hear it then. Because I heard it, it meant that that particular person had seen what had just happened, and that was the last thing I wanted to put him through right now. I turned my head slowly, since I couldn't put it off any longer. Sure enough standing there was the exact person I thought it was. Sodapop Curtis. He hurt face being lit up solely by moonlight. I could see his eyes swelling up with tears, which made the horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach get worse. I'd never seen Sodapop cry not once. Not when his cat got run over three years ago, not when he slammed his finger in the door, not even when he spoke of his late parents, so to know that I made him cry made me feel even worse about it all. The silence was killing me. I wish someone would say something  
  
"Soda she didn't mean to," Two-Bit said finally, "it was all my fault. I forced her into it."  
  
I looked at him in awe. He was so considerate of other people's feelings. Why hadn't I seen it before?  
  
'You don't have to say that." I mouthed.  
  
'Yes, I do. I love you.' He mouthed back before motioning with his head for me to go to Soda.  
  
I didn't know how to respond. It was all to fast. I just rose to my feet and walked over to Soda. I went to hug him but he pulled back. I could feel his actions wrenching my heart and I knew he was still angry. How was I going to explain this to him?  
  
"Please Two-Bit, stay away from her," Soda said surprisingly nicely, "I already lost the girl I loved once, please don't make me loose another." He told him, "At least you have Cathy." He added after that.  
  
I saw Two-Bits' head bolt up and he looked over at me with hurt eyes. Who was Cathy? Now I was confused. Was Two-Bit just using me this entire time? Was kissing him a huge mistake?  
  
*Please Review* 


	12. Answers

Hey Everyone! Just a warning, this chapter is quite long. It's kind of slow at the beginning but it gets cuter toward the end. Well at least I think so anyway! There is a point where she flashes back and remembers things. I wasn't sure how to show this since I don't think italics show up on this site but when the dialect is in single quotations, that means she's remembering it. Please review. I need help deciding which guy Kat should end up with! Thnx for reading! Enjoy!  
  
  
  
Chapter 12  
  
  
  
When Sodapop began to walk away and I knew that I had to follow him, but a part of me wanted to stay there with Two-Bit. He looked so hurt standing there, watching me walk away, but there was nothing I could do. I loved Sodapop and I wasn't about to give him up. Yet, even in the entire mess, Two-Bit still had the good nature to crack a smile while I left him there.  
  
While we walked back to the Curtis house, Soda said nothing. The silence was killing me but I was afraid if I broke it he might get angry again or worse, not even respond. I could tell he was hurt but I felt completely helpless. There was nothing, right now anyway, that I could say or do to ease his pain. I just kept playing the scene back in my mind, from the first time I saw Soda's tear glistened eyes o hen he pulled away when I tried to hug him. Then I remembered something he had said; Something about Two-Bit having Cathy. I couldn't help but think that Two-Bit had only been using me because he was lonely since this, this Cathy had left him. I should really stop assuming things all the time. It had gotten me in trouble time and time again, but I don't think I'll ever stop. One of my many faults is analyzing things to much without all the facts.  
  
"The one thing I learned from all those years of being friends with Two-Bit Mathews was I can tell when he was lying." Soda said finally.  
  
Did this mean he knew that Two-Bit in fact hadn't forced me into kissing him?  
  
"Why'd you do it?" He continued, "Why'd you do it Kit, why?"  
  
How was I supposed to answer to this? I took a deep breath and decided that the truth would be best.  
  
"I was upset Soda," I started, "Seeing Steve drunk and all. Two-Bit was just there to comfort me and I guess one thing lead to another."  
  
"So being upset gave you permission to kiss one of my best friends." He said getting a little angry.  
  
"Soda it didn't mean anything." I lied. If it didn't mean anything why was I still thinking about it? "I love you Sodapop Curtis, you never forget that."  
  
He stopped walking and turned to face me. I almost broke out crying seeing his face so full of pain and resentment. I'd give anything to change what had happened. I'd give anything to see his face full of the love and happiness like it had been whenever he looked at me. But I knew that that could never happen. I fear that Soda would never look at me like that again.  
  
"I loved you Kathryn," he said placing his hands on my shoulders, "I mean I haven't loved anyone since," he paused and swallowed hard, "well since Sandy. I never thought that I could hurt that much again, but here you are proving me wrong."  
  
"Soda please," I pleaded, "Please don't say things like that. We can work this out. Are you just going to throw away everything we had?"  
  
"I don't know Kat," he said turning away from me, "Maybe it-maybe it would've been better if you just never came to Tulsa, why don't you just go back to where you came from."  
  
I didn't know what to do. I hurt this boy like only one girl had before, maybe even worse. I made him wish that he never met me. For the second time that night the tears somehow found there way back to my eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry Kat I-I didn't mean that." He said rushing over to me. "You know that me meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm just upset that's all."  
  
"No Soda," I told him, "You were right. You'd be better off if I just stayed in Kansas. Listen, I'm going to take a little walk, I need to think and so do you. You need to find out whether or not you love me and I need to find out whether or not I should go live with Evelyn. Whatever you want me to do I'll do it. I love you Sodapop Curtis, you remember that. I want what's best for you and if that means leaving then that's what I'll do."  
  
"Kathryn, I do love you it's just," he started, "it's just, oh I don't know."  
  
"That's what you gotta figure out." I told him placing my hand on his chest. Now, don't come looking for me if I don't come home tonight, I'll find some place to stay."  
  
He just looked up at me wiping a tear from my eye before kissing my forehead and walking off.  
  
I wondered around town for an hour or so thinking about how I had hurt Sodapop. I knew I loved him but there was just something about Two-Bit that made me keep wondering if I had met him first would I have loved him more than I love Soda. I also kept thinking about who this Cathy person was. Not so much who she was really as much as why I felt jealous of her. She was obviously Two-Bit's old, or worse, current girlfriend, and for some reason I felt threatened by her. I'm a sixteen year old girl, I shouldn't have to be dealing with all these emotions, all these issues but they were mostly my fault. I could have pulled away when Two-Bit kissed me. I could have pushed him away when he tried to comfort me. Now that I thought about it I could've also not have insisted that we take a walk. But if I hadn't done all those things then I probably never would've known that Two-Bit loved me. What else I couldn't understand was why Two-Bit was in love with me. The only time we spent together was that time at the Dingo. Furthermore, wouldn't I have noticed that he was in love with me; I mean usually one has some sort of idea.  
  
  
  
In all my wandering I kept coming back to the park. I played the incident over and over again and thought of all the what-ifs. That was another habit I should try to drop. I should learn to realize that what's done is done and no matter what, not even all the what-ifs in the word, nothing can change that. As I sat there in under the tree that I had had so many of my life changing events under, it made me think back to the night that those 'Socs' tried to hurt me. I remember how Soda and Steve had come to rescue me from them. I played it over in my head.  
  
'Hey pal,' one said, 'Leave her alone ya hear.' Steve said.  
  
'Or what!' one of them said.  
  
'You don't wanna know pal.' I didn't now it then but I knew know that that voice belonged to Two-Bit. It was so like him, trying to act tough although he was probably scared stiff.  
  
'If you're looking for a fight…' one of them said.  
  
'Listen buddy, just let her go. She didn't do nothing. I don't want to start anything with you guys.' Soda said. I smiled remembering the way Soda had kept his cool. He always wanted to resolve things without violence.  
  
  
  
All I remembered after that was seeing one boy in a blue shirt pull a blade and the rest was all black. The only thing after that I recall was being in the car lying in Soda's lap and Two-Bit tapping my face lightly.  
  
'I think she's coming around.' I heard someone yell. That had been Two-Bit as well. I remember me wanting to hit him since he had been yelling so loud.  
  
'Hey-Hey,' Soda said, putting his strong arms around me. 'It's ok your safe now.'  
  
'You gave us quite a scare there.' Two-Bit said holding the damp cloth.  
  
Then I remembered the state he had been in. His face was all swollen and there was blood streaming down the left side of his cheek. I tried hard to remember something. There had been something I had noticed about Two-Bit's side. He had been holding it in some way, but that's all, that's all I could remember.  
  
Well I wasn't about to let this go unanswered so I went to the only place that I could get answers. I got up from where I had been sitting and dusted the dirt of my skirt. I looked around for a second and tried to locate where I was and where I wanted to go. I hadn't been to his house in over three years and I needed to try to remind myself where it was. It had been not far from the Curtis' house just about three blocks from there. Luckily for me it was closer then the Curtis' so I wouldn't have to walk by their house since I knew that Sodapop would probably be sitting on the porch, looking up at the stars just thinking.  
  
As I was scanning the houses along the street I finally came across his. It was just as I remembered it. It was a small red brick house with a cute little veranda on the front. If it was cleaned up it might look real nice but in the state it was in, and paint chipped and caked with mud, it wasn't that pretty looking. I walked up the cracked cement driveway, trying not to step on the flowers that had pushed their way up from where the cement was separated. As I stepped onto the veranda it let out a creek and I thought that it might just collapse from under me. I past many dead flower pots that were lined up nicely on the railing and under any other circumstances I would've smiled at the sight of them. As I reached the door I took a deep breath before lightly rapping my knuckles on it. It was loud enough for anyone that was awake to here it but soft enough not to wake a light sleeper.  
  
I saw a light turn on from inside the house and heard the footsteps from someone coming down the stairs. Slowly the wooden door opened making a noise that only rusted hinges can produce. I took another deep breath as I prepared to be greeted by a person that I wasn't sure I could contain myself around. As the door was finally completely opened it revealed the well-built boy I hade seen earlier only now his shirt was missing and his eyes were more groggy then I remembered. It took him a few seconds to realize that I was standing there and that it was in fact me but when he noticed his expression changed from annoyed to worried and he opened the screen door a little more quickly then he had originally planned to.  
  
"Kat," he said finally, "What's wrong, what are you doing here?"  
  
"I need to talk to you," I said finally, "It's important."  
  
He just stood in the doorway scratching his rusty-colored sideburns trying to delay the fact that reality had caught up with him and it wanted to talk.  
  
"Sure Kat," he said after what seemed like an eternity, "C'mon in."  
  
He led me into his house and I immediately tripped over a pair of jeans that were lying in the middle of the floor. Fortunately, as always, Two-Bit was there to catch me.  
  
"I'm sorry about the mess," he said frantically trying to pick up some of the clothes and dirty dishes that were lying around, "It's usually neater." He lied.  
  
"Two-Bit," I said, placing my hand delicately on his arm, "It's fine. I don't mind trust me."  
  
"Oh," He said smiling sheepishly, "Alright then."  
  
I followed him into a room that I suppose one would classify a living or family room. There wasn't much furniture but whatever little there was consisted of an old ratty chair with stuffing coming out the back, a brown, cigarette burned couch in the same sorry state as the chair and a little folding dinner tray with 16' black and white television sitting on top of it.  
  
"Mickey Mouse at twelve in the morning?" I asked smiling at the sight of a tough teen watching a cartoon mouse on a steamboat.  
  
"What can I say," he said holding up a blue shirt with the same mouse on it, "I'm a fan of the Mickster, can't help but love 'im. So what did you want to talk about?" He asked even though he thought that he knew exactly what I wanted to talk about.  
  
"Well lots of things I guess." I told him, "I've been doing a lot of thinking and I just need some answers and you're the only one who can give them to me."  
  
"Here," he said motioning to the beat-up old couch, "Sit down."  
  
I smoothed out the bottom of my skirt before sitting down just to prevent wrinkles. It was a habit I picked up from watching my grandmother at elegant dinner parties. She'd always do it for show but I found it extremely useful.  
  
"Hey, Two-Bit," I asked a little unexpectedly, "Do you remember that night when the 'Socs' tried to, well, attack me. What exactly happened?"  
  
"Why do you bring that up?" Two-Bit asked.  
  
"Well I'd just like to know I guess." I replied. I really didn't know why I wanted to know exactly. I thought that in the long run it might get me some of the answers I was looking for.  
  
"Well we were walkin' down Sutton from the Dingo, actually talking about you and all the good time we'd had when you was down last. Then Steve heard you cry out for him and he just started running. Not knowing much about what was going on, Sodapop and I followed. We reached the park and saw you lying there helpless under that tree and I don't know something came over all over us as we were about ready to die for you. Our hatred for those three Socs just added to our rage and thought we didn't really want to start anything we knew that they would.  
  
"While we were talking back and forth, y'know just name callin' and stuff, I saw that the guy in the blue shirt pull something shiny out of his pocket, the first thing I did was instinctively reach for my back pocket to see if I had my switchblade but I haven't carried one around since, well since Dally died," he swallowed hard when he said this. Steve wrote to me about that when it happened. Even thought I didn't know them that well I cried when I read about it. Dallas Winston, though as tough as he was, had always been kind to me and whenever I was around he'd try and watch his swearing.  
  
"Anyway the biggest one in the yellow started to push Steve around and well they started swinging at each other. I tried to keep my eye on the one with the blade but it was kind of hard since this other little punk kept trying to take me down by jumping on my back, so I had no choice but to leave Sodapop to deal with the knife Soc. I tried my best to look out for him, y'know watch his back, punch the guy from behind a couple 'a times but somehow he knocked Soda down, well it wasn't that hard, I mean Soda's a good fighter and all but this guy, he was huge, so he didn't have that much trouble dropping him. Anyway that Soc, drunk off his ass, kept swinging the knife around you and threatened that he was gonna stab you if we didn't back off. But when we didn't back down he actually raised the blade up in his arms and was thrusting down hard. So, with Soda down and Steve busy with that Soc in the yellow, I did the only thing I could do, I threw my self in front of you. Now let me tell you, it hurt like a bitch, but I knew that I'd rather die then let you die, so I did what I had to do." He said rubbing his side where the knife had obviously punctured his skin.  
  
I just stood there in awe looking up at a boy I had known since childhood, who even though I hadn't even spoken to him in three years, still felt that my life was worth more than his. How could I not have known that Two-Bit saved my life? Why hadn't anyone told me? I was so overcome with respect for this boy that for the second time that wrapped my hands around his neck and kissed him hard. I could tell he was overcome by this and completely surprised but soon he slid his hands around my waist, as he did earlier that night, and pulled me closer to him.  
  
It took me a while to realize what I had done and when I did I quickly pulled away from his grasp I just looked at his face and it took all I had to keep from kissing him again but I just kept picturing Soda's eyes glistening with tears and it gave me the strength to hold back.  
  
"I'm sorry Two-Bit," I told him, "I didn't mean to, I mean, I did obviously but, I mean, I just, I can't do this." I said finally.  
  
"Hey, It's ok Kat," he said then he smiled at me before saying, "I've had worse things done to me."  
  
I envied him so much, especially the way he could find away to make a joke or even just crack a smile, even at the most awkward of times, no matter how he was feeling inside.  
  
"I'm sorry I came here," I told him, "I shouldn't have come. I'm sorry I didn't mean to bother you I just," I sighed, "it was the only place I wanted to me."  
  
He walked over to me and took me in his arms. I could feel his heart beating through his body and it comforted me in a way.  
  
"I don't know what to think," I said looking up at his strong gray eyes, "I'm so confused, I'm just so confused."  
  
"Hey," He said soothingly, "It's ok. Confused doesn't always have to be bad. It just gives you more time to think that's all. Now look, you can stay here tonight since I know that you don't exactly want to go back to the Curtis'. You can take my bed and I'll sleep down here on the couch, ok?"  
  
"You don't have to, I mean, I can sleep on the couch if you want." I told him. It was true, I really didn't care where I slept as long as it wasn't on the street. Which might I add would've been where I eventually would be sleeping if I had left.  
  
"I won't have it," he told me, "besides, you're a guest and my mom says guest always take me room."  
  
"Well," I said finally, "I wouldn't want to defy Mrs. Mathews now would I?"  
  
"No, you wouldn't." he said, leading me up the stairs to his bedroom.  
  
When he opened the door to his room, I was too tired to look around and notice things like I usually did. The first thing I saw was a bed covered in dirty clothes and I immediately flopped down on it. I could hear the sound of Two-Bit's voice explaining to me that I could wear whatever of his I wanted as pajamas as long as it smelled clean. Then he stopped in mid- sentence and let out a little chuckle before tossing a blanket over me. The last thing I felt was his soft lips gently kiss my forehead and I fell asleep smiling.  
  
  
  
*Please review* 


	13. Thunder

Hey Everyone! I know that Two-Bit had been really out of character in this fic, that's half the reason that I started Rough All Over to write the Two- Bit we know and love, and this chapter is no exception. I know there is no excuse but some might be that he "wised-up" in a way after Johnny and Dally died, or that he only makes wisecracks and passes at girls when he's with the guys, but please be nice! Thanks for reading and I'd really appreciate it if you'd review! Enjoy!  
  
P.S. Thank you again for all the kind review! ;) You guys are the best!!  
  
  
  
I woke up that night to the sound of thunder. It took me a while to realize where I was since I never took the time to notice the detail of the room but by the mess and the scent of cigarettes I soon remembered. I could hear the soft tapping the rain made on the roof and I soon went back to sleep. Not five minutes after laying my head down on Two-Bit's pillow, I was re- awakened by someone very small jumping into bed with me. I lifted the covers only to find a small girl about six or seven lying beside me.  
  
"You're not my brother," she said looking up at me realizing that in fact I wasn't Two-Bit, "Why are you in his bed."  
  
I smiled down at the innocent little girl, still lying beside me, shivering, obviously traumatized by the thunderstorm.  
  
"Don't worry," I told her soothingly, "I'm your brothers friend. I came over late at night since I needed to talk to him and he offered me his room to sleep in for the night."  
  
The little girl just looked up at me with trust in her eyes. I think she knew that I was telling the truth and wasn't as frightened of me as she had been before.  
  
"I understand," She said looking up at me with her big icy blue eyes. She reminded me of a little lost puppy who was lost and frightened and I couldn't help but give her a warm smile, "You don't have to explain yourself to me." As she said this there was a violent crack of thunder and she instinctively clutched onto me, obviously startled. So I tried my best to comfort the little girl by returning her gesture and rocking her slowly.  
  
"You aren't scared of a little thunder are you?" I asked her softly.  
  
She just looked up at me with her adorable little face and nodded before burying her face into my shoulder.  
  
I smiled before saying, "When I was a little girl, I used to be just afraid of thunder as you were."  
  
She slowly took her head away from me and said, "You were?" as she released her grip around my neck.  
  
"It's true I was. Maybe even more scared. Every time there was even the littlest sound on thunder I would hop out of bed and snuggle in between my mom and dad and sleep there the rest of the night."  
  
When I told her this she seemed to look sad and directed her eyes toward the floor while twirling her rusty-colored hair around her tiny finger.  
  
"I used to do that," she said finally, "but even since Daddy left I ran in here with Two-Bit and he'd always let me sleep with him."  
  
I smiled at the thought of wisecracking Two-Bit huddled up with this little girl, trying to comfort her when she was scared.  
  
"He used to tell me that the angel were bowling," she continued, "The pins falling down was the sound the thunder made. He also said that when one of them got a strike, they'd get so excited that they'd make lightning strike to celebrate and tell all the people on earth how happy they were."  
  
"Well your brother is a smart guy," I told her, "very smart."  
  
Then she sat up real tall as if she were excited about something. Her little gray eyes lit up and she said, "Are you my brothers girlfriend?" she asked directly.  
  
My smile faded, knowing that my answer would most likely cause her hopes to fall.  
  
"No sweetie," I told her, "I'm not. But your brother and me are real good friends and we always will be no matter what."  
  
"That's right Kay," a familiar voice said, "no matter what."  
  
Both me and the girl looked over to the direction the voice was coming from to find Two-Bit leaning against the doorframe.  
  
" Keithie!" she said, obviously excited to see him. She ran over and jumped into his arms wrapping her little legs around his waist, "I like this one. She's nicer then the others." She told him.  
  
"Yeah," he said looking over at me, "I know she is, baby. You should get some sleep. You gotta big day ahead of you tomorrow."  
  
"Going to the diner to help mommy clean dishes isn't exactly my kind of day." She said scrunching her nose at him.  
  
"Well I know honey," he told her scrunching his nose right back, "But you know that Mommy likes it when you keep her company at work."  
  
"I guess so," she told him. Then she leaned in and whispered something in his ear, before he put her down and she ran off to bed.  
  
"What did she say?" I asked immediately after the girl had left.  
  
He smiled his famous smile while rubbing the back of his neck.  
  
"Tell me," I pleaded smiling, "What did she say."  
  
"You'll have to beat it out of me." he said playfully.  
  
I threw a pillow at his head hoping that it would cause him to tell me but he just pretended to zipper his mouth shut and throw away an imaginary key. So I did the only thing I could, I walked over to him and started playfully beating it out of him until finally caved.  
  
"Alright, Alright I'll tell you," he said, holing me by the waist and pulling me closer to him, "She said that you were real pretty."  
  
I smiled and nodded approvingly.  
  
"In facts she said that you were the prettiest girl she'd ever seen." He said smiling down at me, "and well, who can blame her."  
  
I picked up the pillow that I had thrown at him earlier and affectionately hit him over the head with it.  
  
"She said that I was stupid to just be friends with you," he continued, "and that I should wise up and ask you to marry me, that way I'd be happy and she'd have a big sister."  
  
I looked up at his hopeful eyes and felt a wave of guilt rush over me. I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have given him false hope.  
  
"Two-Bit, I-" I started but he simply put his finger over my lips.  
  
"I know," he said soothingly, "I know.  
  
"I shouldn't be here," I told him, "I have to leave, now."  
  
"You can't Katty," he said, automatically rejecting my offer, "It's dark out and raining, you could get hurt."  
  
I looked at the clock hanging on Two-Bit's poster covered wall. 5:36.  
  
"It's early in the morning," I told him, "No one will be up."  
  
"But-What I mean is-You can't," he said having a little trouble coming up with words, "I want you to stay. I love you, Kat."  
  
I looked at his hopeful eyes and I was crushed since I knew that what I was about to say to hum would be a huge let down.  
  
"I love you too Two-Bit," I said, as he excitedly lifted his head, leaning into kiss me, "but-"  
  
"Damn," he said smiling, "There's always a but."  
  
"But," I continued, "My heart already belongs to Sodapop. I owe it to him to stick to my word. I loved him first and I can't just give that up for what could only be a simple infatuation. I'm sorry." I said placing my hand on his cheek. "I'm just so scared."  
  
"What?" Two-Bit said a little taken back, "You scared. No way baby, you aint scared a nothing"  
  
"That's not you true," I told him, "Me, I'm scared of everything. I'm scared that I'll make the wrong decision, I'm scared that Sodapop won't even want me back, but most of all I'm scared that I'll walk out of this house and never again in my life feel what I feel here with you."  
  
"Kat," he said, delicately lifting my chin, forcing our eyes to meet, "I know that you'll feel what you feel with me with Soda too, maybe even stronger. You love him more than you love me and that's gotta be a better felling then what you feel right now." He stood there in silence just looking at me with his for, the first time ever, expressionless face. "You go to him," he told me finally, "It's my own damn fault for not telling you soon enough. Instead of bothering with my stupid wisecracks and passes, I should've told you like Soda did. He's one of my best friends, and no matter how much I want to, and damn I want to, I can't steal his girl."  
  
He finally released his grip on my waist and I walked through the door of his room without looking back. I knew if I did, I would see one of the boys that I had feelings for and my heart would overcome my will. But my will was stronger than my heart and it was telling me that Sodapop was who I needed to be with. Just as I was about to go leave out the front door, Kaylee was standing at the top of the stairs.  
  
"That Soda is one damn lucky guy," she said in her sweet, innocent voice, "I hope he knows what a great girl he's getting."  
  
I smiled up at the little girl without knowing exactly what to say. I just left the house without saying a word of goodbye to her, or to Two-Bit in that matter, and went back to where I needed to be.  
  
It was a short walk from Two-Bits house, back to the Curtis', but I walked quickly just the same. I could see a hint of the suns rays poking over the horizon and felt a sense of security since I knew that no one who would be interested in harming me would be up at this hour. As I stepped into the Curtis house, the door greeted me in a way with its usual creaking noise. I walked into the empty living room and took off my coat and shoes. I walked quietly through the room when I noticed that Ponyboy was sleeping on the sofa and I took a moment to admire his peaceful slumber. I tiptoed down the hall to the end room where I knew I would find Soda, fast asleep. He looked so peaceful when he slept and I wanted to just wake him up so he could hold me but instead I just snuggled close to him and closed my eyes. Then I felt him pull me closer to him and kiss my forehead and I knew that that was where I belonged. For the second time that night, I fell asleep smiling.  
  
*Please Review* 


	14. Confusion

Hey Everyone! I'm so sorry that it took so long for me to post this! I hope that it was worth waiting for! Now this chapter is a bit confusing at first but everything comes into play near the end! It's another short one so it won't be as hard to read! Well thanks for sticking with me this long! I never thought I get to chapter 14! I mean 88 reviews! Wow! I don't deserve them but thank you for them anyway! I just wanted to thank Mad Molly for telling me to stick with this idea! You're the best Moll! I hope you like this one! Enjoy!  
  
  
  
Chapter 14  
  
  
  
The scent of coffee mixed with bacon filled the room and I woke up to the soothing aroma. I stretched a little as my eyes slowly blinked themselves open. I reached over beside me to snuggle closer to Sodapop but when I looked over I realized that I was alone. I sat up in bed and noticed the door was open. A feeling of awkwardness spread over me and I realized that now I would have to face the people that probably despised me if Soda had told them what had happened. What were Darry and Ponyboy going to think of me when they found out that I had kissed Two-Bit and hurt their brother who they cared for so deeply. I lay back down in bed hoping to get back to sleep to postpone the inevitable but unfortunately I had been seen.  
  
"Hey Kathryn," Darry yelled from the kitchen surprisingly cheerfully, "C'mon out here while it's still hot."  
  
I sat up and nodded to him although on the inside I was extremely confused. Then I thought that maybe it had all been a dream but knew that it had been to real for that to have been possible no matter how hard I wanted that to be true.  
  
"Uh," I replied as I was trying to think of an intelligent response. Then it came to me, "Yeah, Ok."  
  
I quickly jumped out of bed and realized I was still fully clothed. I decided to change before I went to eat breakfast since I didn't want them to notice that I had been wearing the same thing as the day before and besides that, it was getting a little dirty. I quickly undressed and replaced my outfit with a simple white dress with yellow trim on the bottom and on the sleeves that buttoned up at the chest. It had been one of my favourites since it was so comfortable and I had practically lived in it the month that my mom bought it for me. I patted down my hair and was about to re-do it when I realized that I was simply eating breakfast and these people didn't care how I looked.  
  
I walked down the hall far to nervous then I should have been, still wondering whether or not Sodapop had told his family what had happened. If he had I didn't know whether or not I could take the judging eyes of Darry and Pony.  
  
"I made pancakes a bacon," Darry called out when I reached the kitchen, "You're favourite."  
  
I nodded in appreciation even though my favourite was actually waffles and sausage but it didn't really matter to me. It was nice to know that Darry had been considerate enough to make what he thought was my favourite as opposed to their normal breakfast consisting of both chocolate cake and milk.  
  
I sat down at the table and quickly glanced at Ponyboy who didn't look up from his plate across to Sodapop who was dressed in his DX shirt and hat who flashed his shining smile at me. I returned the gesture before glancing back over to Pony. He seemed to know I was looking at him since the sound of his fork scrapping at his plate seemed to quicken with anxiety until it finally stopped.  
  
"What?" he asked looking up at me with hostility in his voice.  
  
I knew then that Soda had indeed confided in Ponyboy his feelings of anger he had toward me last night and he was obviously still upset with me for hurting his brother.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry," I said as sweetly as I could, "I-I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."  
  
He seemed to have a look of sympathy in his eyes before they returned to his plate but there was still a hint of antagonism behind them.  
  
"Well, I gotta go to work." Soda said standing up. "If I'm late, both the boss and Steve'll kill me." He walked over and kissed my forehead before walking into the kitchen to put away his dishes.  
  
I thought about Steve for a second. Then I remembered that Two-Bit had told that boy from the vacant lot to bring him here but last night I saw Pony sleeping on the couch and not him. I felt a pain in my stomach caused by worry when I thought of what he may have done if he didn't came back here.  
  
"Soda," I called out to him, "Did Stevie come back here last night?"  
  
He turned around without making contact with me as he looked up a Darry and then finally to me.  
  
"Yeah honey he did," he said in a quiet voice, "but he was umm to drunk to know what he was doing and he tried to start something again and then he just ran out. I tried to stop him but he said that if I came near him he'd try to hurt me for good."  
  
I didn't understand how something like that could have happened the night before and Sodapop could be joking about Steve killing him if he was late for work.  
  
"Well is he alright," I said standing up out of my chair, "How do you know he got home?"  
  
"Don't worry," Soda said walking over to me and putting his hands on my shoulders, "Buck Merrill stopped by and said he found him down by the Nightly Double and made sure he got home alright."  
  
"Oh thank god." I said relieved. The I looked up at Soda, "Are you sure he won't still be cross with you when you get to work?"  
  
"Nah," Soda said smiling, "Ol' Steve won't even remember a thing from last night. He was far to-"  
  
Then I heard the door swing open and the sound of playful whoops fill the room. I looked over Sodas shoulder to see Steve and Two-Bit plop down on the couch as Darry went out to meet them. How could they be here after all that had happened last night and act like nothing had happened at all?  
  
"See what I mean," Soda said kissing my forehead, "What did I tell you. Everything is back to normal."  
  
I just nodded at him before he left to join his friends in the living room. What was he talking about? Nothing was normal at all. I couldn't understand how these people were just tiptoeing around something that back in Kansas would've change peoples lives.  
  
Reluctantly I followed Soda into the room and was instantly greeted by Steve picking me up and spinning me twice as usual before placing me back on the ground.  
  
"Katty," he said after putting me down, "Looking good in your cute little white dress."  
  
"Thanks Stevie," I said following his cue of friendliness, "I like it."  
  
"Yeah Kat," I heard Two-Bit's voice say from the couch, "You're sure you want Sodapop now," he continued jokingly while putting Soda in a headlock, "Because you can always come to me."  
  
I just stood there in disbelief as he joked about a matter that only yesterday had been such an issue it had almost caused me to leave Soda and go with Two-Bit. I glanced over at Ponyboy and the expression on his face was indescribable. It was as though he was thinking exactly what I was thinking yet he was angry at his brother and Two-Bit for making a joke out of it.  
  
It continued on like this for a while longer and I couldn't bear to watch so I hid from it in the kitchen while I washed dishes. It worked for a few minutes but soon my plan had failed when I was joined by Two-Bit.  
  
"Need some help Kat?" he said grabbing a towel, before playfully raising his eyebrows up and down and saying. "I'm a pro dish dryer."  
  
I just looked up at him saying, "No I think I got it." There was unwanted unfriendliness in my voice but I couldn't help feeling that they were implying that last night wasn't to be taken seriously and they were viewing it as some big joke.  
  
"What's the matter with you," he said grabbing a dish, then smirking at me, "You should really learn to lighten up."  
  
"Well excuse me if I take things a little more seriously then others." I told him coolly grabbing the dish back from him.  
  
His smile faded as I looked away from him and he put his hands on my shoulders forcing me to look him in the eye.  
  
"Hey," he said in his serious voice he had used last night, "Is something wrong? You can tell me you know."  
  
My eyes narrowed a bit as I opened my mouth trying to think of the words to say but nothing came. I just shook my head releasing myself from his grip. I turned to leave but he grabbed my arm and gently spun him around.  
  
"Listen," he said in the same voice, "It's different here alright. We don't talk about things that happen like maybe some other people do. We're all each other has and we don't waste time on fighting because we don't want to risk ruining our friendship. So don't take us not discussing last night personal all right. That's just the way we are."  
  
I nodded to let him know that I understood a little but I was still a bit unsure about they're lifestyle. It was strange how things like that could just roll off their back without any emotion shown at all. It didn't seem right. I watched as Two-Bit left and went back to join Darry and Steve watching television.  
  
"You should be mad Sodapop," I heard Pony's voice say from the dining room, "I mean he didn't have to go and kiss her."  
  
I walked closer to where Ponyboy and Soda were obviously discussing what had happened and felt a little relieved to know that at least someone was. Although I was a little sad since Ponyboy was so upset.  
  
"Aww baby," Soda said to his little brother reassuringly, "Why would I be mad. I mean hell; she's a great girl. He was probably just probably trying to make sure that he didn't love her. You know how important a kiss is. He was just seeing that his feelings were in fact just a crush rather than love. Besides, she came back didn't she? It's not like anything happened. She came here, not to his house."  
  
"I guess you're right." Pony said finally, "But he still shoulda told you first. I just didn't like seeing you that upset Soda."  
  
"It's okay now anyway Pony," He said, "Everything is back to normal." Then he yelled out to Steve, "Come on Steve, we gotta get to work."  
  
He came into the kitchen wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my cheek while saying goodbye and telling me that he was glad I was back.  
  
"You better come visit me at the DX alright," he said overdramatically while putting his hat back on, "I don't know if I can go through the day without seeing your face."  
  
"Yeah, yeah," I said smiling as he left the house, "I'll be there."  
  
I smiled to myself thinking that maybe everything was back to normal but I couldn't help but thinking if they'd always be that way. I mean could I just forget that all this had happened like they had? I thought I could but maybe, just maybe, I couldn't. 


	15. Lollipop

Hey Everyone! This chapter is just one to lighten the angst load! ;) It was fun to write and I hope it's fun to read. It has little meaning but it's sort of a filler chapter. I really wish you guys like it since I sort of do and then if you don't it'll be as though I don't know good or fun rather, writing! Well Enjoy! Again, I need some help with this chapter title! Your suggestions are always greatly appreciated and a special thanks goes out to those who are planning on, and who have helped me before! I continue to love all of you!!  
  
  
  
Chapter 15  
  
  
  
I continued to do the dishes even after everyone had left. Darry went to work, Two-Bit went with Steve and Sodapop to the DX and I wasn't exactly sure where Ponyboy was but I was sure he had gone out too. I felt like I had to get my mind off everything and this dishwashing wasn't helping much. I thought about how I used to lighten up when I lived in Kansas. I don't think that I could dance around in my underwear singing whatever song was on the radio here. I looked around and remembered that no one was here. It wouldn't hurt if I just danced around a little so I decided to go for it. The Curtis' didn't have any blinds so I decided to keep my clothes on.  
  
I walked over to the radio trying to find a suitable song. None seemed to be dance worthy until I came across the Chordettes singing Lollipop. I laughed out loud since my friends and I back home once sang this in the tri-county talent show. I turned it up a little more and started belting out the song.  
  
"Lollipop, Lollipop, Oh Lolli, Lolli, Lolli," I sang, "Lollipop, Lollipop, Oh Lolli, Lolli, Lolli. Lollipop, Lollipop, Oh Lolli, Lolli, Lolli. Lollipop."  
  
I stuck my finger in my mouth and popped the side of my cheek to try and duplicate the sound that the song made. Just as I did I spun around to see Ponyboy leaning up against the doorframe smirking at me trying to hold back his laughter. I could feel the embarrassment building up inside me. I didn't think that anyone was home. He just stood there shaking his head playfully. I opened my mouth to say something but he cut me off.  
  
"Crazy way he thrills me, Tell you why." Ponyboy started singing, "Just like a lightning from the sky, He loves to kiss me till I can't see straight. Gee my lollipop is great."  
  
He started laughing and walked over to me turning off the radio since the song was over.  
  
"Wow, Pon," I told him, "You sing better than me."  
  
"Yeah but you're a much better dancer Kat," He told me, "I Soda could see you now."  
  
When he said this his smile faded and he walked over and plopped down on the couch. I knew he was still upset with me for hurting his brother and I had to set him straight but I didn't know how to start.  
  
"Why'd you have to do it Kathryn?" He asked directly. I was a bit relieved since he had initiated the conversation. "You hurt Sodapop real bad."  
  
"I know I did Pony," I said sitting down beside him, "But I didn't mean to, honest. I would never purposely hurt your brother. He means the world to me."  
  
"I know. It's just I hate seeing him like that y'know," he continued, "I mean when Sandy left, he was bad. But when you kissed Two-Bit he was way worse. He thought he'd lost you forever. I'd never seen him that upset. Well, except when Mom and Dad died."  
  
I felt even worse now that I fully understood how much Sodapop cared for me and how much I hurt him. Ponyboy knew his brother more than anyone in the world and if he said I hurt him badly I had hurt him.  
  
"I'll never hurt him again Pony," I told him, "I can promise you that. I love Sodapop."  
  
Whatever doubt in my mind that I had of not loving Soda was gone. I knew that I had made the right choice. I might still have feelings for Two- Bit but I loved Sodapop.  
  
"That's good to know Kat," he said his face brightening up, "I don't know if Soda could handle another heartbreak."  
  
I just smiled at him and made my way back into the kitchen to finish washing the dishes. There was nothing more I wanted to do at that moment then run out the door down the DX just to see Sodapop but I knew that I had a responsibility of washing the dishes and my grandma always said that work always comes before play.  
  
"When I'm done here," I called out to Ponyboy, "We can walk down to the DX okay?"  
  
"I dig it." He said wholeheartedly, "Only if you buy me a Coke."  
  
"Alright," I yelled back. I felt as though Pony and me were really connecting, "It's s deal."  
  
  
  
I finished shortly there after but still needed to hop into the shower and re-do my hair. I took a quick shower and underwent my daily routine of waiting for the water to heat up and then realizing that it didn't get hot, examining my face in the mirror, and lastly just simply getting ready. I thought that I should wear the same dress since I was running low on new outfits and I'd only been wearing it for about and hour or so. I slipped the white, yellow-trimmed, button up dress over my head and continued to style my hair. For some reason I wanted to look good for when I saw Sodapop so I spent a couple minutes curling my hair and styling it. That's the one thing I liked about my hair. It could be straight one day and the next day I could curl it so easily but it took forever to dry. I held both sides back with two decorated bobby pins; applied some make-up and I was ready to go. I looked myself over and decided that I looked pretty cute. Well as cute as I was going to get that day.  
  
I walked out into the living room greeted by Ponyboy's smiling face.  
  
"How did Soda snag a pretty doll like you," he started, "I'll never know."  
  
I just laughed at him and off we went. Now it would seem as though it'd be a short uneventful walk but we just happened to run into someone who knew things or assumed he knew things that Pony didn't which made things a hell of a lot worse.  
  
"Hey Curly, Hey Tim," Pony greeted the two rough-looking greasers that we had met on the sidewalk, "What's going on?"  
  
"Not to much Pon," the smaller boy, obviously Curly said, "Just heading down to the Dingo."  
  
I tried not to make eye contact with Tim since I knew he'd remember me from last night. I also knew he'd remember the Two-Bit and I were on a "date", but I wasn't sure whether or not he'd say anything.  
  
"Hey Pony," Tim said. I could feel his eyes looking at me but tried my best not to give him the satisfaction of glancing up at him, "Isn't this Two-Bit's broad?"  
  
Ponyboy just looked at me in disbelief and I knew that whatever respect he had gained toward me that day had been temporarily replaced with anger and deceit.  
  
"Nah, me and Two-Bit broke up yesterday," I said in my trashiest voice I could mange. I winked at Pony trying to make him understand but his expression stayed the same, "He said he was going back to Cathy."  
  
I didn't exactly know who Cathy was but I remembered both Two-Bit and Sodapop talking about her and prayed to god that what I said made sense.  
  
"That jackass," Curly piped in, "He'll never learn that that girl is a trash factory."  
  
"Giving up a nice girl like you for a tramp like her," Tim said walking closer to me, "I'll never understand that boy. I guess that means your back on the market then doesn't it baby." He continued slipping his arms around my waist.  
  
I wanted to scream but tried to keep my cool. I knew if I struggled that it would just make him more willing to scare me.  
  
"Sorry Tim," I said coolly, "But I kind of have my eye on Sodapop."  
  
He looked over a Pony who nodded and then Tim backed off.  
  
"Damn," he said smiling, "Just a few hours to late huh."  
  
"Maybe next time." I lied. I knew there wasn't going to be a next time and if the off chance that there was I sure as hell wasn't going to fall for Tim Shepard.  
  
Curly and Tim said goodbye to Pony and walked off in the direction of the Dingo. Ponyboy started walking a little faster then normal and I knew he was upset. I grabbed his arm causing him to stop.  
  
"Do you practice lying," He asked with hostility in his voice, "Or does it just come naturally to you?"  
  
"Pony, don't be like this," I told him, "You have to understand, Two- Bit only said that so Tim would lay off. He knew that Tim wouldn't go after me if I was with him."  
  
He paused for a second as though he were thinking it over but the he flashed me his shining smile and I knew that even though it was farfetched, he understood.  
  
"Yeah all right," he said, "I guess I could see Two-Bit doing that."  
  
It was only a few blocks down the road and Pony kept making small talk about things that seemed to matter when your fourteen. I guess it was before he was interested in girls. When we got to the DX I could see a crowd of girls crowding around Soda like they always did but when he didn't coming rushing out to me I got a little worried. I reached the crowd and realized that he was turned around. I kept walking in a way pushing through the girls and just as he turned around I walked right into his arms and kissed him. I could tell he had been surprised but he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me back. I could hear the whispers of the girls who were crowded around and I one girl even called me a tramp but I didn't care. I knew that Soda loved me by the way he kissed me and no girl was ever going to take that away.  
  
I pulled away since I had never really liked showing public displays of emotion but I had been so overcome by jealousy that I had to show it, even if it was publicly. He gave me his world famous smile and I just bit my lip smiling sheepishly.  
  
"Well that was a little shocking." He said finally.  
  
"Sorry, it's just that-" I started but couldn't finish since Soda had but his finger over my mouth, stopping me from talking.  
  
"I didn't say it was bad, it was just shocking." He smiled at me and then kissed my forehead. I looked around to see if the girls were still there and saw Two-Bit in the window through the convenience shop at the DX sipping on a Soda and talking to some girl. He had been looking at me with a look of disappointment on his face, yet when he saw me he winked and raised his eyebrows three times before continuing to talk to the girl. I felt a little jealous again but when Soda grabbed my hand and told me to go get a Coke with him, that feeling was replaced with sheer love for Soda. But should I still be feeling jealous at all. What did that mean?  
  
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	16. Awkward

Hey everyone! Sorry this took SO LONG to finish. It's so hard coming up with mew ideas. But you all know what that's like. My next chapter will be posted sooner, I promise! You can even hold me to it! I hope you all haven't lost interest! I don't know what I'd do if not one person read this! Aww that would be bad but it's my own fault! You're the best! Please Review!  
  
*Katty*  
  
  
  
Chapter 16  
  
  
  
I followed Sodapop into the building as we were going to get some Pepsis, all the time directing my eyes to the ground. I know that Two-Bit said that they were casual about this sort of thing, but I just couldn't bring myself to be at ease with it. I felt a little ashamed with myself that I couldn't even look him in the eye. How could I let this come between what would most likely be a great friendship?  
  
"Hey Two-Bit," I heard Soda yell, "Hold on we'll sit with you guys."  
  
I opened my mouth to object but when Soda turned around and flashed me his award-winning smile I knew I couldn't refuse. He kissed my forehead before motioning for me to sit down and running off to get the sodas. I walked over calmly although I knew that I must've looked horribly awkward but leave it to Two-Bit to lighten the moment.  
  
"Hey Katty," He said as always surprisingly enthusiastically, "Grab a seat there beside Cath. She's not gonna bite."  
  
I just smiled as I took the chair next to the rather trashy yet under the makeup pretty girl who was obviously known as Cathy. I looked down at her innocently smiling at her and she simply responded with a type of a glare and a smirk mixed together. All I know is that it obviously wasn't pleasant.  
  
We just sat there in silence waiting for Sodapop as Cathy repeatedly drummed her painted nails on the table, even after Two-Bit asked her to stop. I knew this would happen. There was no way all those events could have taken place without dealing with a bit of awkwardness. No matter how strong Two-Bit had made himself out to be, I knew that he still was feeling something deep inside him that he couldn't just ignore.  
  
"Some nice weather we're having," Two-Bit said smiling, "It's real hot."  
  
"Yea," I replied, "Hot."  
  
Before this discomfort could continue, Sodapop returned. Although when he sat down affectionately draping his arm over my shoulder, I saw a look in Two-bit's eyes that I couldn't deal with.  
  
"So Kathryn," Cathy said in her heavy southern accent, "Where you from anyways?"  
  
"I was born in Ireland but moved to Kansas when I was very small and lived there ever since," I told her, then I looked down at my soda and twirled my straw slowly around the edge of my cup, "Until now anyway."  
  
"Wow, Kansas," She said leaning forward, "I hear it's real nice up there. I gotta friend who lives in Kansas I think. At least, that's the last place I heard she was. They call her Trixie LaPelle, Y'know her."  
  
"No, I'm afraid I don't." I said trying not to smile. I don't exactly think that I would know the kind of girl who was friends with this girl by the name of Trixie LaPelle.  
  
Just then I heard the bell on the door chime and I looked up to see who it was. Instantly I directed my eyes back to my soda covering my face a bit. I felt Sodapop's hand on my back as he reassuringly asked, "Hey, Are you ok?"  
  
I looked up at his worried eyes then darted the back over to the man in the doorway who still hadn't seen me. I noticed as Soda's expression changed telling me he understood and was mad. He went to get up but I grabbed his hand and pulled him back in his chair.  
  
"No Soda, please, don't." I told him, "He hasn't noticed me yet and I don't want him to."  
  
"What's goin' on with this broad." I hear Cathy's screeching voice belt out. "Is she one the run from the cops or something."  
  
"Please," I told her as politly as I could, "Be quiet." But it was to late, he'd seen me and was on his way over to the table. I sat up tall and confident as he reached us showing that, though I should be, I wasn't intimidated by him. "Hello Jerry." I said conservatively.  
  
I watched as he took of his hat and held it near his belt buckle. He truly looked hurt by the fact the I'd left out the uncle part of the greeting although I wasn't about to let that change my ice cold expression.  
  
"Hi there Katty." He said in the warm voice I remembered from my childhood, "We sure miss you back at the house but it seems like you're doing okay. Your mama stopped by a while back and I told her that I thought you'd be stayin' at that Curtis house." As he said this he shot a resentful look toward Soda but I only squeezed his hand, which I was still holding harder. "Do you think you'll be comin' home any time soon?"  
  
I thought about this for a second. Maybe I should go back. He was still a kind old man who just got to drunk sometimes. But who was I to make that assumption. Perhaps he'd changed. Maybe now he was a cruel old man and was just putting on an act now so he could hurt me again. I didn't know what to think.  
  
"I don't think so Jerry." I told him finally, "I'm fine where I am."  
  
He shook his head and I could see the fire building up inside him through his eyes.  
  
"Now you listen Katty," he said with a stern but calm voice, "You're just a kid and although you may be smart, you still don't know what's good for you. I'm not about to let you throw away your life by choosing to live with this bum over a nice loving family like ours. Now come one, we're going home." As he grabbed my arm I felt a sharp pain run up it from the firm grip he was using. Why was he doing this to me. Just a few moments ago he was acting as though I was the only thing in his life he cared about and now, now he was trying o cause me pain.  
  
Two-Bit instinctively shot out his arm to relive me of my uncle's pain by grabbing Jerry's.  
  
"Listen pal," He said firmly, "She obviously doesn't want to go home yet and I think that she has a pretty good life over there at the Curtis'. Sodapop is a good guy," as he said this he flashed us a wink, "I know that for a fact. Besides, whatever makes you think you can give her a better home isn't going to persuade her when you come in here and hurt her. Now I think it's just about time you leave, don't you?"  
  
Jerry pulled his arm away and looked over at me. I sat there holding my arm, rubbing it as though it would make the pain go away. The sadness in his eyes made me want to cry but I held back since I knew it would only give him some sort of just satisfaction.  
  
"I'm sorry honey," he said, his voice returning to it's usual warm tone, "I just want what's best for you."  
  
Then he turned to leave and didn't glance back once. I instantly let out a relieved sigh. I felt a bit guilty I mean after all, he is family. But what kind of family does things like that, although he was only looking out for me. No, I wasn't about to feel sorry for him. That wasn't going to happen.  
  
I looked across the table at Two-Bit and mouthed "Thank You". He just smiled at me raising his eyebrows as he leaned back in his chair. I looked over at Cathy who was resting her chin on her hand looking at her fingernails. He should be with her. He should be with someone who's kind. Someone who appreciates him. Someone who loves him. He should be with someone like me.  
  
*Please Review* 


	17. Unexpected

Forgive me for my horrible case of writers block. This chapter sdoesn't really fit in exactly to my previous storyline I had planned but knowing me, I'll get everything back on track. Now I sort of made a certain character out to be a huge asshole in this chapter and it's so out of his great character but don't worry, it's just a mis-understanding that will be resolved in chapters to come. Again, sorry for the wait, hope you haven't lost interest although most of you probably have, and if you have please tell me and I won't continue if you want. But don't be mad ok?? Great! Please review. Enjoy!  
  
Chapter 17  
  
As I reached out to take another sip of my soda, I noticed an envelope lying face down beside the glass. Picking it up I read whom it was addressed to and was surprised to find my name. Then the excitement drained from me as I read the return address.  
  
Elle Thompson 293 Lundy's Lane Kansas City, Kansas L4K 4H9  
  
"Where did that come from?" Sodapop asked, placing his arm around my shoulder.  
  
I thought for a moment before saying, "I guess Jerry left it."  
  
Gently I ran my finger under the flap and pulled out the neatly folded paper inside. I smiled as I smelt the scented paper the letter was written on thinking how that was something that Elle would buy. Pulling out the letter I quickly read it over.  
  
Kat-  
  
I miss you a lot. I hope that you're having a better time in Oklahoma than I'm having here, although I sincerely doubt it. Don't worry, Mark is completely miserable and still regrets ever breaking up with you. Shirley tried to ask him out but, naturally, he refused. Anyway, the girls and I thought it would be fun if we took a road trip up to see you. So, you can be expecting us, well, soon. I'll tell you what's happening here when I get there rather than writing a boring old letter. It's so 1957. Ciao.  
  
Kisses,  
  
Elle  
  
I took a deep breath re-folding the letter and placing it back into the envelope. Leaning back in my chair, I tried to comprehend what was going on. They couldn't come here. They couldn't see the way I live.  
  
"Who was it from Kat?" Soda asked me.  
  
"Elle." I said simply looking at him. "She was my best friend back home. She said that she and a bunch of the girls are coming down here to visit."  
  
"Well that's great honey," Soda said overly affectionate, "I'm sure if we pulled out the couch and the guys didn't sleep there, they could easily stay at our place."  
  
I looked over at his face. I could see the excitement in his eyes. How could I let him down? But these girls weren't like me. Well they are like me but the old me. Before I realized the reality and importance of life, meaning, they were just rich high-school girls. When the boys would call, classic Socs.  
  
"That's sweet Soda," I said trying to reason with him, "But it's hard enough on Darry with me being here, I don't want to drop this on him. Besides, they'll probably be more comfortable in a local hotel."  
  
"I guess you're right," he said, "Well I better get back to work. I'll see you when I get home alright."  
  
"Of course." I said smiling as I squeezed his hand. Then he leaned down kissing me lightly before returning to his customers.  
  
The three of us sat there in an awkward silence as I sipped the water from the melted ice through my straw. The coke had been gone for some time now but I couldn't stand just sitting there. Even if I was making a horribly annoying sound, it was better than silence. Cathy gave her bubble gum one final blow and just as it popped she got up.  
  
"I better leave too," She said in her nasal voice, "As much fun as this is, I hafta catch up with Evie; we're getting' our hair done today. You're welcome to come if you like."  
  
I quickly glance up at her bright red hair with black roots, smothered in hairspray.  
  
"No thanks," I said politely, "I like my hair the way it is."  
  
She gave me a surprised look and smirked as she left, but not before planting a passionate kiss on Two-Bit. Then she walked off in her trampy little way.  
  
Not even a second after she was gone I looked at Two-Bit across the table and blurted out the words, "We need to talk."  
  
Just as I did, Ponyboy came out of nowhere. I got a feeling in the pit of my stomach. I knew that Pony was imaginative and I was afraid he might take this the wrong way.  
  
"Hey Kat," he said cheerfully, "It's alright if I go over to the Dingo right, I mean, you don't mind or anything."  
  
I looked up at him relieved that he hadn't made more assumptions. I just smiled saying, "Of course Pony. Be careful though."  
  
Then he looked over at Two-Bit smiling at me and his smile faded simply saying, "Yeah, you too."  
  
With that he left and I saw a hurt look in Two-Bit eyes for a brief moment, but it was soon replaced with his strong but carefree look that I had come so accustomed to.  
  
"C'mon," he said, "I'll walk you home. I guess we can talk then."  
  
I agreed and after saying goodbye to Sodapop once again, we were on our way home. We walked in silence for a while. I kept thinking of Cathy and how wrong she was for Two-Bit, or at least the Two-bit I knew. I mean she was rude and insensitive and she didn't seem to care for him at all.  
  
"So are we gonna talk here or what?" Two-Bit said jokingly, "or was this just an excuse for me to walk you home."  
  
"What?" I said still deep in thought, "Oh right. Well," I didn't exactly know where to begin, "It's Cathy, Two-Bit."  
  
"What about her." He said with a hint of defense in his voice.  
  
"Well it's just that," I thought for a moment trying to find the words. "She's not right for you. You need someone caring and sweet and just someone who truly loves you, for you, not just because they think it's necessary."  
  
He paused for a second as if to take it all in then said, "And Cathy isn't any of those things." "Well, no." I said, "I mean I'm not one to judge but-"  
  
"No you're not Kat," He said cutting me off. "I mean you don't even know Cathy. How do you know she's not perfect for me."  
  
"Don't get me wrong," I said surprised to hear the anger in his voice, "I just thought-"  
  
"No Kat, that's just it," He said, again not letting me finish, "you didn't think. I mean, where do you come off telling me who's good for me and who isn't. Your not allowed to do that. You can't break my heart and then bash every girl that's not as good as you were. I tried to move on but your making this pretty damn hard. I happen to like that girl and just because she ain't as nice or pretty as you doesn't make her any worse. Jesus, Kat, your acting like a world class, prime example of a super-soc."  
  
We stood there just stating at one another. I looked up at his angry face and didn't know what to think. Rage was building inside of me. All I had wanted to do was help. I mean it was clear that the girl would one day hurt him. Right now that's what I wanted. I wanted someone to hurt him as he'd just hurt me. I took a deep breath and then calmly said, "I thought you were different Two-Bit Mathews. I thought you were special. But now I can clearly see that you're just another jackass that I've had to put up with who doesn't know help when it's being offered to them. You obviously don't care about this girl, since you fell back in love with her so quickly. Hell, how do I know you even loved me. You seemed to have recovered rather quickly. It was probably all just some huge plan wasn't it." I cut him off before he could answer, "I know men like you. I've lived with them all my life. Well I'll be damned if I end up being friends, or even more, with someone like that again."  
  
I gave him one last look and then proudly walked down the street not once looking back. Thank god I didn't or else he would've seen the tears that were rolling down my face. As I turned the corner I ran as fast as I could to get back to the house. I opened the door not once looking up to see if anyone was there and went directly to my room closing the door and flopping down on my bed. There I just cried thinking of how mad I was that I jeopardized my relationship with Soda for him, how mad I was that I had poured my heart out to him thinking he actually cared, but most of all how mad I was that I still loved that asshole.  
  
*Please Review* 


	18. Life

Hey Everyone! It's been a while.I hope you remember what this fic is even about. Well I've decided to change the route of where I was originally going to make it more happy, though to get there Kat experiences something REALLY sad. But don't worry; I assure you, good will come of this. It's basically a chapter that introduced us to a little bit more about Kat's past. I'll be ending the fic soon and you guys will ultimately be determining how it ends up. Which boy? Well enjoy!  
  
Chapter 18  
  
It was dark when I woke up. I knew that I must've exhausted myself crying and fallen asleep somewhere along the way. I looked around and the room was completely dark except for the crack of light that broke that darkness coming up from the bottom of the door. Slowly getting up, I realized that I heard voices, and people laughing. Only they weren't all male, the majority was actually female. Sliding out of bed I walked over to the door and opening it quietly, I listened. The voice speaking now had a strong southern accent and as soon as I heard it, I knew who it was. Elle. Smiling I opened the door all the way and made my way down the hall. Stopping to check myself over in the mirror, I fixed my hair and moved on. As soon as I reached the doorframe, the talking stopped and all three girls looked up at me smiling.  
  
"Well Katty Randle," Elle said suavely, "This Oklahoma lifestyle sure did you well. You look absolutely stunning."  
  
I looked down sheepishly at myself and flattened the wrinkles on my skirt, which I usually did whenever someone complimented me. Although she too looked amazing, I couldn't get over the fact that she was actually here. It hadn't even been that long since I'd seen her but I still missed her terribly as I did the other girls.  
  
"Not exactly." I replied, "Just same old Katty."  
  
She flashed me her award-winning smile and ran over to hug me, as I knew she would. She'd been doing those exact things whenever she saw me since we were ten.  
  
"No way Kats," Molly added, "There's something about you that's making you glow. Although you always were the pretty one of our little group."  
  
I knew she was lying. We were all genuinely pretty in our own way. Allie for example had the most beautiful features I'd ever seen and her personality and gestures just added to her overall appearance. I smiled and winked at her as I made my way over to the couch to sit between the two.  
  
"Where's Molly?" I asked noticing that out foursome wasn't exactly re- united.  
  
Both girls looked at the ground when I said this. I knew them long enough to know something wasn't right here. Instantly I became worried,  
  
"What's wrong?" I asked, "Did something happen. She's alright isn't she?"  
  
"She's fine sweetie." Allie told me comfortingly, and then she took a deep breath, "It's Charlie."  
  
I stood up to show my concern and practically sat down as soon as I'd stood up. The blood rushed to my head and I couldn't believe what was going on. I knew one day this would happen but I didn't know when.  
  
"Who's Charlie?" Ponyboy asked innocently. I had practically forgotten that the whole gang had been sitting in the living room witnessing this.  
  
"He's," I started, "He was a very-" I looked over at Elle and she knew I couldn't explain it. She smiled and nodded at me and then began to tell the story of Charlie.  
  
I knew what she was going to say so I hardly even listened. I couldn't believe this was happening. I mean now of al times. See Charlie was Molly's brother. We'd all known him about as long as we'd known each other. We grew up together, all five of us. He was always the sweetest boy I'd ever met. Even when we were younger and all the little boys would throw mud at us and say we had "cooties", Chuck would always stick up for us. As we grew older, Charlie and I grew closer and closer. I remember the day Molly ran over to my house and was just crying incessantly. It took her about a half hour to tell me what was going on, until finally it came out. Charlie had cancer. I remember trying to comfort her but the tears just ran down my face and we cried most of the day. That was the day I started questioning my faith and my life. Why did bad things always happen to such good people? I kept asking myself that question. Of course I was only twelve at the time but I still knew that cancer was horrible and it would eventually lead to death. That day sticks so clearly in my mind. I'll never forget it. Or what Charlie said to me when I saw him for the first time after the news.  
  
"Don't you dare pity me Kathryn Randle," He said seriously, "We'll just go on livin' our ordinary lives like none of this ever happened. Doc, says the more I experience life, the longer I have and I'll be damned if I die before livin' all I want to. We gotta make everyday count, Kat, like it's our last."  
  
That was the day we first kissed, and form that day on we never talked about his illness again. We went on leading our ordinary lives. It was Charlie who was there to comfort me when my mama left. Charlie again was there to help me deal with my daddy. He was the first boy I ever loved and now he to would leave. I never truly let myself love him though. I refused to get emotionally attached to that boy but even I couldn't help myself. His charm and good nature took me over and he was the only true best friend I ever had. Now, just like everyone else, he too was leaving.  
  
"-so now he's lying in a hospital bed and that's how he's living out his last days." Elle finished.  
  
There was silence in the room. I could see sympathy caked on everyone's faces, but just as I'd learned in the past, no amount of sympathy was going to help.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked my friends, feeling a bit betrayed.  
  
"Katty honey," Elle began, "It's not something you can just tell someone over the phone or in a letter. We knew that we had to be here to support you. After all, you're going to take this the hardest."  
  
"Why is he in a hospital bed?" I asked, not directly responding to her previous reply.  
  
"So he can stay alive longer, naturally." Allie said.  
  
I thought about that for a while. I thought about all the times we'd talked about how we'd promised each other to always live life to the fullest and never let a day pass us by. I already broke that promise and I wasn't about to let him do the exact same thing. He was my best friend and I'd learned so much form him. I wasn't about to let him die in some hospital. But I couldn't just get up and leave here. He needed to live, the longer he truly experiences life, and the longer her genuinely lives.  
  
"How long?" I asked simply.  
  
"What do you mean how long?" Allie asked not understanding my question.  
  
"The doctor said he has about two weeks if he stays in bed." Elle replied, knowing what I meant, "But if he's actively living, then it could only be a matter of days."  
  
Visions of Charlie's carefree smile kept flashing through my mind. Visions of his optimistic nature, of his care for others before himself.  
  
"Make everyday count."  
  
"You go back to Kansas and tell him to get the hell out of that bed and get down here, because I'll be damned, if he dies before he's done livin' all he wants to."  
  
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